A little humor

.
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem.
I have two female parrots,
but they only know to say one thing.'
'What do they say?' the priest asked.
They say, 'Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'
'That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed.
Then he thought for a moment......
'You know,' he said, 'I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots,
which I have taught to pray and read the Bible...
Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.
My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship,
And your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time.'
'Thank you,' the woman responded, 'this may very well be the solution.'
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house....
As he ushered her in,
she saw that his two male parrots
were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying...
Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them...
After a few minutes,
the female parrots cried out in unison:
Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'
There was stunned silence...
Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and says,
'put the beads away Frank, our prayers have been answered'.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDocnbkHjhI&index=2&list=PLs4hTtftqnlAkiQNdWn6bbKUr-P1wuSm0
 
1549470_904081419664993_4041694277830175294_n.jpg
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person
.
A recent study conducted by Harvard University found that the average
American walks about 900 miles a year.
 
Another study by the American Medical Association found that Americans
drink, on the average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.
This means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon.
 
Kind of makes you proud to be an American. 
:)
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person
           Splinters in her crotch......
 
A woman from Los Angeles, who was a tree hugger, a liberal Democrat, and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland near Colville, WA.  There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract.  She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land, so she started to climb the big tree.  As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her.  In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.  In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor.

           She told him she was an environmentalist, a Democrat, an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters.  The doctor listened to her story with great patience, and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared.  The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"

           He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a "recreational area" so close to a waste treatment facility.  I'm sorry, but due to ObamaCare...they turned you down.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2 people