Airport Security

[Harmonic_Vibe]

Hey all.

You know how frustrating it is now in Canada and the U.S. trying to get through security?

The examination of small "pointy" articles such as nail files that aren't even of sufficient quality to perform their designed task, let alone to take over control of an aircraft.

The avoidance of "racial profiling" so that a mean, nasty looking guy of swarthy complexion (my idea of a terrorist) is ignored while they strip-search two female, 18-year old German backpackers.

Having to show ID in order to get cream with your coffee... etc, etc

Well, we've got it good! I was just in one of the former Soviet-bloc Baltic countries and they have adopted even more draconian measures (I wish I had a picture of this but unfortunately my battery was dead on my digital when I departed the airport).

As I'm checking in the girl at the KLM counter says, "You are familiar with the list of prohibited articles?"

I responded, "I guess so... unless you have different prohibitions than I'm accustomed to."

She replies, "There is a sign there..", indicating with her finger, "that has pictures of prohibited or restricted articles.

I wandered over to look at the sign and couldn't help bursting out laughing. Instead of a sign detailing the usual personal grooming items that I expected to see, it was actually a large poster showing, in picture form, the things that you weren't allowed to bring on board.

For instance:

No bundles of dynamite...,

No very large, what appears to be, pirate swords,

No AK 47's (or their derivatives I'm sure),

No handguns... or hand grenades,

No fireworks at all!!,

No cans of gasoline,

No knives or daggers,

No baseball bats (apparently they have something against baseball...),

No chainsaws (that was definitely my favourite),

The list went on... but I never saw any nail files or anything of that ilk... I don't think they understand how exposed they are!!!

With all the travellers on this forum I'm sure there must be some fantastic stories of airport encounters out there... Let's hear 'em!

HV

 

[ORION]

Hv i noticed that you dont have C4 on your list. does this mean its ok or should i call first 😉 Seriously though i find myself in a similar situation from time to time.
No matter how thorough i give a breifing some one suprises me with something that I did not even consider.
I figure its just a given but oh no, some one catches me with a statment like "well you never said i couldnt throw a pop can out the window in flight"
or "I didnt think H2s inside of a sample cylinder was considered dangerous goods"
or "If the bearspray had gone off in flight its not like its gonna kill us"
when I hear these things I realize that it is me who becomes complacent and i have to look at it differently as my life depends on it. I should probably come up with a sign. :wacko:

 

[beltdrive]

My all time favorite in toronto you walk on from a national flight with out security check onto a international flight but when u come back they make u take ur shoes and belt of and Harrass u for an hour, to go on a stinking national flight. Here is this low IQ individual in a power position without any commen sense at all. And yet the charge us the security fee??? For 5 dollars an hour u get get the security u pay for. Here the looking on my boarding pass for a minute but yet they don`t remember my name ..... security my *$^$(..... just another reason to hike fees and taxes.....

 

[Ryan]

Going abroad can be a real pain in the butt too. While in the Frankfurt airport a few years back I had an interesting run in with their security. After going thru the first security check point I was confronted by another one. It was just two guys in lab coats next to some funny looking device. They stopped me and asked if I had any explosives in my backpack! Rather shocked I laughed and said no. They didn't find it too funny, and rightfuly so. They took my backpack and ran some cotton swab over it a few times and put the swab in the device. It must have been used to sniff out bomb materials. After a minute it told them what they needed to know and they let me go, but kept giving me a very odd look as I walked away.
I stepped into a washroom and when I emerged I looked back at them and they now were standing with two armed Army officers. One of the guys in the lab coats sees me and points me out to the Army fellas. As I start walking away I hear them start yelling and I turn around to see both Uzi clad officers sprinting towards me!! They flank me and escourt me back to the lab coat guys and check my bag again with their bomb sniffer. Then they check it a third time. After some debating in German they reluctantly let me go. But those two Army officers were never more than 20 teet from me until I boarded the plane. I guess it's a good thing they were so uptight about the whole deal, but it freaked the hell outta me. Having a sub-machine gun pointed at you tends to do that. I did feel rather important though seeing as how I needed an armed escourt out of the country. :blink:

 

[MagSeal]

don't wear a knee brace either. It's comforting in one way, but uncomfortable in another being taken into a backroom to remove your pants so they can remove the brace and inspect it really well. I guess I can hide samauri swords in the dang thing.

 

[Harmonic_Vibe]

or "I didnt think H2s inside of a sample cylinder was considered dangerous goods"

Aah, ORION, that reminds me of something.

A few years back I was on a job with Vertical Reference, and at the end of the work day he was telling me how, "this idiot", kept trying to bring this "high pressure cyclinder" onboard the helicopter.

Needless to say he "straightened" the "idiot" out... Unfortunately, I'd already heard the other side of the story... The crew medic was very upset that VR made him leave his Medical Oxygen behind... Particulary in light of the H2S hazard where we were working...

Ol' VR was pretty quiet after that for awhile... 😳

HV

P.S. You started it VR... with that old nickname I never could figure out... 😉

 

[Elvis]

How about this one

http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/ContentSe...d=1096236608478

 

[Winnie]

Or arriving in Canada to work the first time. Having landed in Halifax after St. John's was snowed in, losing half my luggage because a minister took my suitcase instead of his own (mine was about 30 kilos heavier and twice as big...

Heading to Harvey's on AC's bill, having no time but to jog to security, they even managed to Xray the burger and fres, as well as the drinks, bought 2 minutes prior... (Guess they thought I liked burgers and guns or something...

Irritated the HELL out of my wife too. Pluss nobody in Newfoundland knew where I was, since Air Canada would not let them know (security regs you know).

Anyways, got there, but it's getting somewhat out of hand this security BS.

 

[Over-Talk]

Hi Bleedvalve, and Leading Edge, welcome to our playground.

In New Zealand, some of the harshest security you will see is trying to get OFF the plane, and OUT of the airport.
They are frightened about the import of dirt and/or diseases that could kill their agriculture-dependent economy. You must declare all hiking boots etc., there are dirt-sniffing beagles, and your bag is X-rayed to check for undeclared hiking boots etc.

Please don't be too harsh on Harmonic Vibe..........if you guys were here early enough to read some of the deleted posts before their authors came back to erase them you would understand that he, Orion and Magseal weren't going after cheap thrills.
I think they have summarized things pretty well in the last few posts.

We look forward to hearing more from you guys.
Your opinions are always welcome, though we may not always agree with them.

Beside the general rules (linked above), please don't attack, erase, and then run-like-hell. If you say something, be prepared to explain it, or retract it and apologise if necessary.
Please don't raise personal, private or legal affairs of other people.
Keep it pleasant, light, and on topic (an interesting and fun rarity around here, though).

Have fun, and avoid the broccoli and onion casserole in case you need to travel on a small plane soon.

 

[Elvis]

Then there was the time I had to remove the glass bottle of rum from my carry on bag and put in my luggage the reason given was that anything glass was a banned item.
How do they explain the same bottle can also be bought in the duty free store past the inspection point and on board the aircraft as well?

 

[leadingedge]

Over talk

Harmonic vibe is definately a trouble maker!, I'll second that motion. Although degenerate would probably be a more fitting description. Thanks for welcome aboard Mr. Overtalk.

Airport security? I think folks are doing a fine job in light of the 911 security problems that are today a difficult global problem.

Using the Canadian logic on Airport security is one thing. Fly into JFK and you are in for a long wait no matter who you are or where you come from.

 

[sharkbait]

A number of years ago ( 1993) when working in Kuwait/Iraq for the UN we combined some night/IFR training with a crew change.
Landed at Kuwait International and threw helmet into helmet bag grabbed luggage and, after giving my replacement an very abbreviated briefing, checked in and departed for LHR and YUL with British Airways.
Went through security in both Kuwait and London. Hand carried the helmet bag which was x-rayed in both places.
Arrived home and unpacked.
Found in the helmet bag -
Helmet - 1
large cans Mace - 2
5 inch Marine survival knife with sharpening stone and fire starting kit. - 1
Pencil flare gun - 1
Sets of gyro stabilized flares for above - 2 stripper clips ( 5 Flares each )
Bag of tools.- 1
Flashlights -2
Zippo lighter -1

OOPS 🙄

Wouldn't want to try that today.

Nowadays I check before departure for nailclippers and never wear a poppy on my jacket in November ( the pin can be used as a weapon according to airport security).
No tools allowed. I can imagine waving a 5/8 wrench and yelling " Nobody move or the wing comes off!!!"
I also am willing to do just about anything to avoid Toronto airport where security is completely out of hand.
Do those " No abuse will be tolerated" signs apply to the passengers too? :angry:

 

[Charles W.]

Security?

Hmmm depends on the place and the people, I have been to so many countries lately that I can't remember them but the security check thing is really from one extreem to the other.

Quite frankly I think it is mostly a political knee jerk that has evolved into parkinsons disease.

But my latest experience with security was really baffeling, going through security on the way over here ( Holland ) in Vancouver this trip I arrived at security and for the first time in memory there was no line up.

Well I thought finally I get to go through without taking all day, hah, lots of luck.

With nothing to do the group of deep thinkers identified me as a white male so having no protection from the P.C. rules they really did a job on me. After unloading my pockets and taking off my jacket I lit up the security door like I knew I would. So jobsworth commands me to raise my arms, spread my legs and starts to probe me with his wand. Trying to sound calm and normal I told him the machine went off because of my watch, he was having none of that and continued to probe me and finding nothing he was puzzeled. Finally I convinced him to let me take off my Breitling self winding watch and let me walk through the door again, and of course no problem. The Breitling of course has more metal in it than a Sherman tank and that solved that problem. ( It was given to me by Breitling for having flown as a air display pilot for them, I can't afford to buy one. )

Anyhow I look over at the table and lo and behold two of them have my backpack with all my GPS stuff and now we start on that. One says to me you have a pair of sissors in this pack somewhere, where are they? I told them that I never carry such things through security as I do this for a living, well we started checking and finally I'll be damned if there was not a pair of folding sissors hanging from a key chain that I had lost in Jeddah about three years ago, the f.ckin things had slid down between a couple of pockets and I had been going through security with my lost key chain and the sissiors for years.

Anyhow they of course confiscated them and let me repack everything and go to the boarding gate.

Here is what puzzels me, I have had an airplane confiscated for a day by homeland security in the USA on a ferry from Africa via Europe, been taken out of line and interrogated in depth because I have to many visas and stamps travelling between London England and the middle east so those things I can understand, but what I hell could I do that would be dangerous with a pair of two inch folding sissors?

Security?????

Thursday I go home ...horay, horay!!

Chas W.

 

[cyclic monkey]

Always watch for these important WARNING signs !!

 

[Bruised Armpit]

Sudbury, ON.

Land helicopter on ramp in front of terminal.
Enter almost empty terminal.
Walk 75' to sandwich bar, buy junk food.
Ask security to be let back out to helicopter.
Get asked for photo ID and Pilots licence.
Snicker, comply, get let out to helicopter.
Remember to make a phone call.
Go back inside (5 mins. later, max.)
Place call, ask to be let back outside.
Get asked for photo ID and Pilots licence.....

what can you say!?!