New Jobs For Twu Supporters!

Hopeful

Veteran
Dec 21, 2002
5,998
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PROFESSIONAL ASS WIPERS SERVICES

A Service For The Rich & Famous.

Are you a millionaire or billionaire who is tired of wiping yourself or even using the bidet? Do you feel you should not be lowered to the position of wiping excrement from yourself like a common animal? Then you have come to the right place. Here people will post their resumes for the position of being your professional ass wiper. Most likely you would need 2 wipers covering 12 hour shifts to insure your ass is covered 24 hours a day. The going rate for professional ass wipers is anywhere from $1500-$2500 a week with complete benefits (Health Insurance, Life Insurance, Retirement Plan, and much more). The days of charging per wipe is out since these people must be near their employer at all times. Most wealthy people have a ass wiping servant quarters for you live in or use as an office to study your art in between crap sessions. If not then you will be provided with a chair and table near the toilet area as sanctioned by the National Union Of Ass Wipers and the International Federation Of Ass Wiping Technicians. Rich people please remember that this is a professional ass cleaning service and there is to be nothing lewd about this. Please treat your wipers with the respect they have earned.

Ass Wiper Qualifications

Those on the lower end of the pay scale only have experience in wiping their kids, senior parents or their own asses. But never fear there is room for advancement in this ever growing field.

You must have no problem with the various smells associated with performing a bowel movement. If you can't take the stink of fresh fart gas then don't even bother submitting your resume.

You must have no problem seeing someone naked up close. Many times you will be kneeling next to the toilet bowel with you face near your employers bare ass. You need to keep a professional business composure to ensure that mutual embarrassment does not occur.

You must be willing to travel and sit or stand for long periods of time as your master will need to leave the mansion for various reason. Always have magazines on hand not only for you , but for your ass wipee who will need reading material while on the public toilet.

You need to know how to deal with the tough stuff such as diarrhea, or those real smushy soft serve poops. Hopefully they can maintain a good diet and health because they are rich after all.

You must be willing to sign a confidentiality contract with your employer, especially if they are famous. Like most people the rich & famous want to appear at least somewhat normal to the general public. In addition, you will hear and see a lot of their private lives. No matter what happens do not interfere in anything you are only there to wipe asses not smooze, unless they consider you family.

Optional: You can increase the pay you demand having had a previous professional paid ass wiping job. This can include working at an old folks home, etc. Having high school or college courses in the art of ass wiping is also much desired.

Now Your Dreams Of Having A Good Paying & Secure Job Can Come True In The Exciting Jet Setting World Of A Professional Ass Wiper To The Rich And Yes Even The Famous. Just Think About The Fact That Months From Now You Could Be Wiping the ass of Britney Spears, Nicole Kidman, Martha Stewart, Dennis Frantz, Bill Gates, or even Ross Perot. The absolute height of the industry is to become a Presidential Ass Wiper. A title reserved only for but a handful of gifted individuals who have spent at least 25 years as a professional wiper and are over 50 years old. These paragons of wiping can make well over seven figure a year and are often knighted by the Queen.



Proud Professional Ass Wiper On Call!
"I earned over $100, 000 last year just wiping some rich socialites ass!"


You Can Post & Read Professional Ass Wiping Resumes Here
 
Hopeful,

Yesterday's post was mildly humorous but could you please not resort to the same tactics as Drippy, Serguo etc.?

I think it is better when you take the high road and remain professional. I understand that the tension is running high but please try to let the TWU be the ones to continue their childish antics.

JMHO
 
awayfrmitall:

Thanks for the advice. I just thought I would follow up with the ass wiping comment with a little career advice for the soon to be ex-TWU members!

These guys actually believe that AMFA is a dead issue.
 
Hopeful said:
awayfrmitall:

Thanks for the advice. I just thought I would follow up with the ass wiping comment with a little career advice for the soon to be ex-TWU members!

These guys actually believe that AMFA is a dead issue.
Nice Hopeful!! Keep up the good work!!!

I bet you make amfa so proud!!!
 
Hopeful said:
awayfrmitall:

Thanks for the advice. I just thought I would follow up with the ass wiping comment with a little career advice for the soon to be ex-TWU members!

These guys actually believe that AMFA is a dead issue.
What these guys believe and what they try to get everyone else to believe are two different things. If they were so sure do you think that they would be spending all that money on PR firms? Isnt it a disgrace when a "union" has to hire an outsider to speak to their own members? If they cant communicate with us how can we expect them to communicate FOR us?

Its time for a change AMFA & the AGW now!
 
TWUer:

About as proud as TWUers and a flag masted coffin!