No End To The Turbulence For Airlines



No End To The Turbulence For Airlines
NEW YORK ( - Six months after we last explored the overall state of the airline industry, things have only gone from bad to worse. Most carriers are holding junk credit ratings, one has filed for bankruptcy protection and another may be unable to avoid it. The losses are getting narrower, but they''re still there. Analysts expect most carriers to report a loss for fiscal-year 2002 and 2003.
Was Warren Buffett right when he said that investors would have been better off if the Wright Brothers had crashed at Kitty Hawk? Maybe. But if there is any good that has come from the industry carnage of the past two years, it is that executives finally acknowledge that theirs is a fundamentally flawed business model and that they cannot continue as is. Judging from some of the steps being taken now, they won''t continue as is for much longer. Click below for our assessment of the carriers.
US Airways filed for bankruptcy protection in mid-August after failing to get its revenue stream in line with its high costs. Things seemed to turn up when the company was conditionally approved for a $900 million U.S. government loan guarantee--pending the company''s ability to substantially cut its costs. But on Aug. 29, its mechanics union rejected a proposed salary cut, which jeopardizes its ability to secure a full federal loan guarantee.
The Proposed Cure: Its back against the wall, the company is asking a bankruptcy court judge to nullify existing labor contracts. A hearing on this issue is scheduled for Sept. 26. Like most major airlines, US Airways is cutting corners wherever possible. For example, those flying on discounted tickets can no longer fly standby or catch a later flight if they miss their original one. Additionally, miles flown on nonrefundable tickets (usually the cheapest fares) do not earn mileage points.
US Airways In Two Years: The company is doing the right thing by downsizing its business and it will be a smaller airline with fewer routes and fewer planes. But its service cutbacks and extra charges could very well alienate its client base.


Mar 11, 2003
I dunno why this one appealed ! :shock:

A tourist walked into a pet store and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, a CO from the local air base walked in and said to the shopkeeper "I'll take a 933 monkey, please".

The shopkeeper nodded, went to a cage at the side of the store, and took out a monkey. He put a collar and leash on the animal and handed it the Chief, saying, "That'll be $2,000." The man paid and left with the monkey.

The surprised tourist went to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?"

The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that's a 933 monkey. He can build pallets of freight, plan aircraft loads, rig loads for airdrop, drive forklifts, type manifests, heat meals for officers, and perform the duties of any TrafficTech with no back talk or complaints. It's well worth the money."

The tourist then spotted a monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?" he asked.

"Oh, that one" replied the shopkeeper. "That's a "Maintenance Supervisor" monkey. It can instruct at all levels of maintenance, supervise maintenance at the unit, intermediate, and Depot level, and even do most of the paperwork. A very useful monkey indeed."

The tourist looked around a little longer and found a third monkey in a cage. The price tag was $50,000. The shocked tourist exclaimed, "This one costs more than all the others put together! What in the world can it do?"

"Actually," said the shopkeeper, "I've never actually seen him do anything but drink beer and play with his dick, but his papers say he's a helicopter pilot." :p ;) :p


Mar 16, 2003
Scientists are comissioned by TC to study the pilots, engineers and avionics techs.
In the initial phase they decide to lock one of each in seperate round padded rooms As equipment they will only have 2 stainless steal balls 3 inches in diameter.
After 12 hours they open a peephole to observe the activities therein.
In the room with the engineer they note that the engineer has devised a game entailing bouncing one ball off the other and seeing how close the balls come to the edge of the room without touching the side. He has scratched marks on the floor to keep track of results.
In the room with the avionics tech they note he is attempting to balance the balls one atop the other and recording how long they stay balanced also using scratch marks.
Suitably impressed by such activity they move on to the pilot's room and open the peephole.
They observe that the pilot has managed to break one ball, lost the other and is asleep on the floor. :wacko:


Mar 31, 2003

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.

2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.

3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.

4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.

5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.

6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is GOLF.


The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls

:shock: :unsure: :eek: