Iheartflying
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- Jan 25, 2008
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- 8
haha thanks ill go dig in the vault and see what we can come up with...
Do you mind if I link some of this to my blog? It's funny as hell.
As the Radar Turns
- Thread starter InternationalShannon
- Start date
Do you mind if I link some of this to my blog? It's funny as hell.
YVINTERN
Veteran
The "one ice cube" is so they "get more". Next time they ask for a tomato juice with one ice cube, fill the cup half way
Just don't screw the Intern commuting out of PBI until August...by then don't screw the Intern commuting DCA/PHL every week
There's no bev service anyways except in FC and as long as Corporate Security doesn't show up at the Gate with his paperwork in PHL I'm cool with that.
GolfNovember
Member
I was working at the gate for a flight to Seattle. Seattle is a four hour flight, and often goes out completely full. I went down to the aircraft to see if the crew was ready to begin boarding,
I was walking back up the jetbridge toward the terminal when I hear a BANG BANG BANG on the jetbridge door. I almost jumped out of my skin.
I opened the door to find a woman in her late thirties with cartoonishly fake breasts, orangey skin , a dress that was probably two sizes too small and a little yorkie sticking its head out of her purse. A few steps behind her was a man I presumed to be her husband, and behind them were the rest of my passengers waiting to board the aircraft. Some of them were staring in disbelief at the woman who had banged on the door and some of them were snickering. Others looked weary and probably just wanted to get onboard.
I looked at her, still shuddering from the loudness of her banging and asked her if I could help her.
“Seattle.â€
That was all she said. She tapped her foot and put her hand on her hip, causing her purse to swing and her little puppy to duck its head completely into the bag.
“Ma’am, I was just getting ready to start boarding. Go ahead and step aside until I call your zone.â€
She didn’t move. I looked at her. I looked at her traveling companion who wouldn’t look me in the eye and appeared to be very uncomfortable.
“I don’t need to step aside. I’m going to need to board first, because I have had a long (freaking) day and I have had it with your pathetic airline. “ the lady snarled
I asked to see her boarding passes .
She snapped her fingers. “Richard!!â€
Her traveling companion was fumbling around in his briefcase.
“Ma’am, I haven’t even boarded first class yet. Are you in first class?†I asked her.
She looked at me with a hateful sneer and said that she had better be after all the trouble my airline had put her through.
I looked at the rest of the passengers waiting patiently. One man walked up and said, “Excuse me, we were waiting here long before you and we’d all like to get on “
The hateful lady ignored him and hissed at Richard again. She lost her temper and snatched his briefcase, carried it over to the podium and dumped the contents all over my counter ,cursing under her breath.
I decided to ignore her and begin boarding my first class passengers. As soon as I began ripping tickets and allowing people on, she stepped in front of the passenger who I had just handed a stub to and waved two boarding passes in my face.
“THIS is just (freaking) unbelievable. You morons have managed to screw up my seats again. I am on my honeymoon and again, my husband is sitting in a different seat, several rows away. This isn’t acceptable.â€
This woman was really beginning to get under my skin. I sternly told her to step aside, stop swearing , and that I would try to switch her seats after I got the passengers onboard.
She stomped over to her new groom and shoved the boarding passes into his hand, muttering things like “ridiculousâ€and “incompetentâ€. I ignored her and instead smiled back at those sympathetic faces that were snickering, shaking their heads and walking onto the jet bridge.
One lady said “I do not envy your job†and another one asked “how do you DO this?â€
I just smiled and thanked them for flying and took the ticket from the next passenger. Meanwhile, this lady, whose boarding card disclosed her first name as “Erica†was stomping and carrying on to her husband, pointing at me, then the boarding passes, then down the hallway and then again at me. The poor yorkie was getting jerked to and fro in the purse. I felt really sorry for it.
Finally, I had gotten every passenger on board with the exception of Richard and Erica. I went into their reservation and discovered that they hadn’t paid to transport the pet on the aircraft.
I called them up and explained that the dog needed a ticket/reciept and Erica promptly began throwing another hissy fit. She felt it was ridiculous to have to pay for her Yorkie because he fit in her carryon. If people could carry on infant babies for free, then she should be able to carry on her dog. Which is her child, she says. Because she was raped in college and got HPV and it destroyed her cervix and now she can’t have children. Her eyes start to tear up and she glares at me again. Feeling extremely awkward after that random outpour of TMI, I stuttered that I’d go ahead and waive the pet fee if she’d just take her seat. Finally, Richard looked at her and told her
“That’s enough sweetheart. This nice lady is just doing her job and let’s just take the seats we have.†Then he looked at me and thanked me.
This did not sit well. Erica took her over-tanned arm and purse ( the Yorkie included) and used it to sock her husband on the shoulder. He didn’t say anything, but his face was red and he was insisting that they just go.
“You are just flirting with her! You’re such a pig!†Erica hissed venomously. Then she sombered up and said that on the last flight, she had to sit with a creepy man and a baby that wouldn’t’ stop crying while her husband sat next to an 18 year old “hoochie†and probably played footsie the whole way.
At this point, I’ve got exactly eight minutes to get their dysfunctional behinds on the aircraft and push it back before I end up in the supervisor’s office explaining why my plane was late if every connection made it on time. People at neighboring gates are watching her meltdown and the people on the moving sidewalks tried to linger, but found themselves tripping over each other to watch this scary woman (who kind of looked like a cross between a drag queen and an oompa loompa) rant on and on about how stupid our airline is, what a pig her husband is and how skanky that girl on the plane was.
I told her I had no other seats left. She asked about first class.
I did have one seat left in first class. I thought wistfully about my patient first class passengers and how mad they’d be if I put her up there for free. I thought about it just to shut her up but I refuse to reward this kind of behavior.
I informed her that I did have only one seat, but that there was a fee to upgrade. She snapped her fingers at her husband and he rolled his eyes and gave her his credit card. She presented it to me, and I quickly ran the card and assigned the seat. As I looked at the back of the card , I noticed it hadn’t been signed and the front of it read Richard’s name. I would need Richard to sign the receipt since it was his card. The lady snapped again at Richard to hurry up and "sign the stupid receipt" so that she could get some rest in a decent seat. She grabbed her carryon bag and jerked it over to the seats to readjust the zippers while Richard signed the card.
My blood was boiling as I watched her slam her bag around , with her poor Yorkie still being swung around in the purse and Richard leaned over and said something to me that made it all worth it.
“Leave that crazy woman in coach and assign me the seat, this is my credit cardâ€
I complied, handed him the boarding pass along with hers and he wrapped them both in the envelope. Brilliant!! I couldn’t believe what this man just done. In gleeful bliss, I made a final boarding announcement and gathered the crew’s paperwork and passenger manifest.
“Darling, let’s go!†he cooed. She sneered and grabbed her bag and asked if the upgrade was done. He nodded and she followed, without a word to me and stomped down the jet bridge.
I followed closely behind with the departure paperwork , I had two minutes to get them onboard and shut the cabin door. They boarded, and as I handed the flight manifest and paperwork to the captain, He told me to shut the door immediately and hed make sure I got the right out time. The flight attendants would make sure everyone was seated after the door was shut while he made announcements. They all felt bad, but could handle her from here. I couldn’t help but wince as I saw him pull the tickets from the jacket and begin to stow his bag under the seat of 1A.
I heard her whiny voice tell him to put the bag in his own seat, and as the flight attendant assisted me in closing the door , she caught my eye and I shrugged. . She rolled her eyes and the door shut.
As I pulled the loading bridge away from the aircraft, I caught a glimpse of Richard in his first class window seat smiling smugly as I imagined the woman stomping furiously to row 31, seat E.
Wonder how that went.
Amazing...I have yet to experience something like that...PBI's passengers can be somewhat nightmarish...
h34r:
OP
InternationalShannon
Veteran
- Thread Starter
- Thread starter
- #49
go right ahead
YVINTERN
Veteran
Amazing...I have yet to experience something like that...PBI's passengers can be somewhat nightmarish...
Hey...was trying to find you at work
Had to pick up my sister off a delayed hint hint delayed B6 flight from a city with omnipresent delays...The guy in the BSO seems like a douche.
cltrat
Veteran
- Aug 29, 2007
- 5,481
- 3,051
Hey...was trying to find you at work
The guy in the BSO seems like a douche.
surely not
GolfNovember
Member
THAT'S WHY HE WAS LOOKING FOR ME!!! The dude in BSO... He's quite cool, once you know him.
I mad-dashed my way out of work once my shift was over (I left EARLIER TODAY at 2 AM, so I ran away home). Sorry I missed ya!
OP
InternationalShannon
Veteran
- Thread Starter
- Thread starter
- #53
Hey, I have another one.
Once there was this non rev that kept flying through my city and he kept writing stuff to me on his phone and then showing it to me, and I was like, what is going on here, but he couldnt hear because he was like, scuba diving or something and got water stuck in his ears. But anyway, he popped up all the time and wanted buddy passes, and then was calling everyone names and I was confused at how he knew all these people. Then he asked me for an upgrade. I told him no. And then the next day he lit me up on this random website for being an Eastie Gangster with bad customer service.
I asked him how the heck he flies around so much and what he does for a living and he LOLed on his phone at me and told me that he has sources. Then I looked and saw his ETKT was exchanged 123909032 different ways and the end result was an itinerary that looked like he used LGW as a connection point between CLT and PHL because that was the only way he could get to BWI and then on to SBA via PHX with a ten minute layover in OGG.
Whatttt???
The end.
Once there was this non rev that kept flying through my city and he kept writing stuff to me on his phone and then showing it to me, and I was like, what is going on here, but he couldnt hear because he was like, scuba diving or something and got water stuck in his ears. But anyway, he popped up all the time and wanted buddy passes, and then was calling everyone names and I was confused at how he knew all these people. Then he asked me for an upgrade. I told him no. And then the next day he lit me up on this random website for being an Eastie Gangster with bad customer service.
I asked him how the heck he flies around so much and what he does for a living and he LOLed on his phone at me and told me that he has sources. Then I looked and saw his ETKT was exchanged 123909032 different ways and the end result was an itinerary that looked like he used LGW as a connection point between CLT and PHL because that was the only way he could get to BWI and then on to SBA via PHX with a ten minute layover in OGG.
Whatttt???
The end.
YVINTERN
Veteran
Holy #### Shannon...Atleast I know that wasn't me cuz I have never been to SBA or OGG but that sure was a very accurate description of someone I know...or rather knew before he went to the big airline in the sky...may he rest in peace.
OP
InternationalShannon
Veteran
- Thread Starter
- Thread starter
- #55
This one was from ATA Airlines, when they had a small station here and I worked there
A Major Minor Dilemma
We were just wrapping up check-in procedures for our last flight of the night. Our airline only had one gate in the airport, and since the check in lines were moving smoothly, it seemed like the night would be uneventful.
Our inbound aircraft was making its way toward the gate a few minutes ahead of schedule. I grabbed a radio to communicate with the counter staff and went to meet the plane,
I drove the jet bridge to the aircraft and opened the door. The passengers got off, all smiling, and thanked me for a great flight. I smiled back and thanked them for traveling with us.
Things were going so smoothly, it was eery. As any avid traveler or airline employee will confirm, things rarely go smoothly in the airport. When things are too easy, it seems like a precursor for drama later. This night would be a fantastic example of that theory.
As the last passengers deplaned, the flight attendant ushered a child over to me. According to his paperwork, he was 13 years old. Company policy states that a 13 year old is the minimum age a passenger can be to travel alone, but many parents still pay the unaccompanied minor fee . The fee guarantees that the child will be escorted all times by airline personnel from drop-off to pick-up by the minor’s family/designated guardian.
The child, who we will call Jessie Smith, was to be met by his father, Ron Smith. In most cases, the parent is already at the gate awaiting the arrival. Occasionally, they’ll get caught in traffic or security and arrive slightly late. The airline personnel must stay with the child until the designated guardian shows up.
Thirty minutes passed, and we had already started re-boarding the plane for the outbound flight. The flight attendants turned the minor over to us to track down the guardian.
We decided to call the numbers on the paperwork. The contact information for Mr. Smith was forwarded to voice mail. We tried again, getting the same result. We moved on to the secondary contact who was listed as the grandmother. That phone number was disconnected.
Finally, we were able to reach someone on the last number. (Jessie’s aunt.)
The woman was very confused. She was 300 miles away and was not expecting Jessie. She could not possibly pick him up. She also informed us that her brother , Ron, had moved to another state and couldn’t possibly be expecting the child either.
We looked over at Jessie, who was enthralled with his portable video game, and decided to try the mother again. Rather than upset the child, who seemed uninterested and sullen, we needed to
speak with the mother. She had signed the paperwork to send him, so she would surely have a solution.
After three tries, she answered her telephone. She did not seemed surprised and demanded to speak to her son. She gave no explanation, and Jesse didn’t make any move toward the telephone when summoned.
We put the mother on speaker and my coworker gently tapped him on the shoulder and pointed at the phone.
Jesse responded by rolling his eyes and staring blankly at the speaker.
“Jesse? You there, boy??â€
Jesse rolled his eyes again and answered “Yes, mama.â€
“I TOLD YOU SO JESSE JONATHAN! ARE YOU PROUD OF YOURSELF? I TOLD YOU YOUR DEADBEAT FATHER WOULDN’T BE THERE TO GET YOU!â€
She didn’t get to finish because the supervisor turned the speaker off, snatched the receiver and demanded to know what was going on. We watched as the supervisor’s facial expressions went from anger to astonishment, to exasperation, and then to stone. He hung up, walked over with his hand on his forehead to Jesse and explained to him what he was going to have to do.
We were going to have to keep Jesse in custody overnight because the plane had already departed and there were no more direct flights that night. The first flight was at 6am, so we borrowed some pillows and blankets from the plane at the next gate and set up a cot for him in the breakroom. We turned on the TV and the supervisor stayed with him until the next morning.
In a nutshell, the mother and the son had gotten into an argument that resulted in Jesse stormiing out and saying he wanted to live with his father. The mother disclosed that this was a routine fight. She said that the father was not interested in being involved with her son, but Jesse could not be convinced. He thought that his mother simply hated his father and was making it all up out of spite. So, he saved money and had purchased a one-way plane ticket. Instead of another fight, the mother decided to make it a lesson and paid to send him as an unaccompanied minor, knowing that the airline would not leave him alone.
She knew his father wouldn’t pick him up, and wasn’t worried because the airline policy states that if the designated guardian does not show up , the unaccompanied minor gets sent back on the first available direct flight.
It seemed absurd, but was in actuality very clever. She managed to prove a point, get free babysitting and turn a one-way ticket into a round-trip at no extra charge.
A Major Minor Dilemma
We were just wrapping up check-in procedures for our last flight of the night. Our airline only had one gate in the airport, and since the check in lines were moving smoothly, it seemed like the night would be uneventful.
Our inbound aircraft was making its way toward the gate a few minutes ahead of schedule. I grabbed a radio to communicate with the counter staff and went to meet the plane,
I drove the jet bridge to the aircraft and opened the door. The passengers got off, all smiling, and thanked me for a great flight. I smiled back and thanked them for traveling with us.
Things were going so smoothly, it was eery. As any avid traveler or airline employee will confirm, things rarely go smoothly in the airport. When things are too easy, it seems like a precursor for drama later. This night would be a fantastic example of that theory.
As the last passengers deplaned, the flight attendant ushered a child over to me. According to his paperwork, he was 13 years old. Company policy states that a 13 year old is the minimum age a passenger can be to travel alone, but many parents still pay the unaccompanied minor fee . The fee guarantees that the child will be escorted all times by airline personnel from drop-off to pick-up by the minor’s family/designated guardian.
The child, who we will call Jessie Smith, was to be met by his father, Ron Smith. In most cases, the parent is already at the gate awaiting the arrival. Occasionally, they’ll get caught in traffic or security and arrive slightly late. The airline personnel must stay with the child until the designated guardian shows up.
Thirty minutes passed, and we had already started re-boarding the plane for the outbound flight. The flight attendants turned the minor over to us to track down the guardian.
We decided to call the numbers on the paperwork. The contact information for Mr. Smith was forwarded to voice mail. We tried again, getting the same result. We moved on to the secondary contact who was listed as the grandmother. That phone number was disconnected.
Finally, we were able to reach someone on the last number. (Jessie’s aunt.)
The woman was very confused. She was 300 miles away and was not expecting Jessie. She could not possibly pick him up. She also informed us that her brother , Ron, had moved to another state and couldn’t possibly be expecting the child either.
We looked over at Jessie, who was enthralled with his portable video game, and decided to try the mother again. Rather than upset the child, who seemed uninterested and sullen, we needed to
speak with the mother. She had signed the paperwork to send him, so she would surely have a solution.
After three tries, she answered her telephone. She did not seemed surprised and demanded to speak to her son. She gave no explanation, and Jesse didn’t make any move toward the telephone when summoned.
We put the mother on speaker and my coworker gently tapped him on the shoulder and pointed at the phone.
Jesse responded by rolling his eyes and staring blankly at the speaker.
“Jesse? You there, boy??â€
Jesse rolled his eyes again and answered “Yes, mama.â€
“I TOLD YOU SO JESSE JONATHAN! ARE YOU PROUD OF YOURSELF? I TOLD YOU YOUR DEADBEAT FATHER WOULDN’T BE THERE TO GET YOU!â€
She didn’t get to finish because the supervisor turned the speaker off, snatched the receiver and demanded to know what was going on. We watched as the supervisor’s facial expressions went from anger to astonishment, to exasperation, and then to stone. He hung up, walked over with his hand on his forehead to Jesse and explained to him what he was going to have to do.
We were going to have to keep Jesse in custody overnight because the plane had already departed and there were no more direct flights that night. The first flight was at 6am, so we borrowed some pillows and blankets from the plane at the next gate and set up a cot for him in the breakroom. We turned on the TV and the supervisor stayed with him until the next morning.
In a nutshell, the mother and the son had gotten into an argument that resulted in Jesse stormiing out and saying he wanted to live with his father. The mother disclosed that this was a routine fight. She said that the father was not interested in being involved with her son, but Jesse could not be convinced. He thought that his mother simply hated his father and was making it all up out of spite. So, he saved money and had purchased a one-way plane ticket. Instead of another fight, the mother decided to make it a lesson and paid to send him as an unaccompanied minor, knowing that the airline would not leave him alone.
She knew his father wouldn’t pick him up, and wasn’t worried because the airline policy states that if the designated guardian does not show up , the unaccompanied minor gets sent back on the first available direct flight.
It seemed absurd, but was in actuality very clever. She managed to prove a point, get free babysitting and turn a one-way ticket into a round-trip at no extra charge.
YVINTERN
Veteran
What a b****, someone should have sic'd the cops on her for neglectful abuse but atleast I know what to do when my kids are being brats
but atleast I know what to do when my kids are being brats 
OP
InternationalShannon
Veteran
- Thread Starter
- Thread starter
- #58
haha ill remind him thanks lol
yeah i have wendy's stories out the wazooooooooooooooooooooooooooo just this week i racked some up!! ill post one tomorrow its laaaaate
OP
InternationalShannon
Veteran
- Thread Starter
- Thread starter
- #60
well that's a suspicious quote. methinks me has a spy. no one wants to hear the fictitious cheesecake tale. no one wants to know how my friend who isnt me had a lucy moment on a intl outbound....that's just silly.
