USCREW
Veteran
How To Shower Like a Woman:
>
> Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry
> hamper according to lights and darks.
>
> Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you
> see husband along the way, cover up any exposed
> areas.
>
> Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make
> mental note to do more sit-ups/leg- lifts, etc.
>
> Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg
> cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
>
> Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
> with 43 added vitamins.
>
> Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
>
> Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner
> enhanced with real passion fruit.
>
> Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for
> 10 minutes until red.
>
> Wash entire rest of body with gin ger nut and jaffa
> cake body wash.
>
> Rinse conditioner off hair.
>
> Shave armpits and legs.
>
> Turn off shower.
>
> Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
>
> Spray mold spots with Tilex.
>
> Get out of shower and stand on bath mat.
>
> Dry with towel the size of a small country.
>
> Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
>
> Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and
> towel on head.
>
> If you see husband along the way, cover up any
> exposed areas.
>
> How To Shower Like a Man:
>
> Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the
> bed and leave them in a pile.
>
> Walk naked to the bathroom.
>
> If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her
> making the woo-woo' sound.
>
> Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
>
> Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
>
>
> Get in the shower Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
>
>
> Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse
> them off.
>
> Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
>
> Spend majority of time washing privates and
> surrounding area.
>
> Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs
> stuck on the soap.
>
> Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
>
> Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bath mat.
>
> Dry off forearms and butt only.
>
> Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
> hanging out of tub the whole time.
>
> Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to
> watch water fly off.
>
> Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light
> and fan on.
>
> Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
>
> If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at
> her and make the woo-woo' sound again.
>
> Throw wet towel on bed.
>
> Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry
> hamper according to lights and darks.
>
> Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you
> see husband along the way, cover up any exposed
> areas.
>
> Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make
> mental note to do more sit-ups/leg- lifts, etc.
>
> Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg
> cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
>
> Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
> with 43 added vitamins.
>
> Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
>
> Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner
> enhanced with real passion fruit.
>
> Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for
> 10 minutes until red.
>
> Wash entire rest of body with gin ger nut and jaffa
> cake body wash.
>
> Rinse conditioner off hair.
>
> Shave armpits and legs.
>
> Turn off shower.
>
> Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
>
> Spray mold spots with Tilex.
>
> Get out of shower and stand on bath mat.
>
> Dry with towel the size of a small country.
>
> Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
>
> Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and
> towel on head.
>
> If you see husband along the way, cover up any
> exposed areas.
>
> How To Shower Like a Man:
>
> Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the
> bed and leave them in a pile.
>
> Walk naked to the bathroom.
>
> If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her
> making the woo-woo' sound.
>
> Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
>
> Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
>
>
> Get in the shower Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
>
>
> Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse
> them off.
>
> Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
>
> Spend majority of time washing privates and
> surrounding area.
>
> Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs
> stuck on the soap.
>
> Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
>
> Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bath mat.
>
> Dry off forearms and butt only.
>
> Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
> hanging out of tub the whole time.
>
> Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to
> watch water fly off.
>
> Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light
> and fan on.
>
> Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
>
> If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at
> her and make the woo-woo' sound again.
>
> Throw wet towel on bed.
