Welcome aboard.
Today’s flight is operated in cooperation with our bankruptcy lawyers, Senson, Zedollar, and Associates, and our secured and unsecured creditor committees.
On this flight our frequent flyer members will earn approximately 1,500 miles, which will most likely be worthless at a later date.
Please direct your attention to the cabin crew for important safety information. There is a blank “Motion for Consideration of Unsecured Claims†located in the seat pocket in front of you.
Fasten your seatbelt by inserting the metal tip into the buckle. Belt-tightening may be necessary, and could become required as the fight, er flight, drags on. To release the seat belt, lift the metal flap on the buckle. It is this airline’s policy that you remain seated during all announcements regarding pay cuts, furloughs, and financial losses.
This aircraft has four exits on each side. Each door is equipped with a slide into Chapter 11, and some lead to Chapter 7 as well. Doors are clearly marked with exit signs and instructions for finding employment elsewhere. Locate the nearest exit; keeping in mind your opportunity to leave with your retirement savings intact may be behind you.
The cabin is pressurized. If there is a loss of employment, a panel will open and unemployment benefits will appear. Remain seated with your seatbelt fastened and pull a mask toward you. Benefits will begin flowing, although they will most likely not cover all of your bills.
Cover your mortgage and groceries with the benefits. Tighten your belt by eliminating all unnecessary expenses. Secure your own financial future before assisting others.
In the event of a forced Chapter 7 landing, the seat cushion underneath you will be owned by a creditor. Pull up and remove the cushion, and hand to the creditor committee’s lawyer upon leaving the aircraft.
This is a non-concessionary flight. Concessions are not allowed by the unions representing contract employees. Union rules prohibit offering or accepting concessions of any long-term value.
You will now be left in the dark about the company’s future. Information about what’s really going on can be found in newspapers and magazines. Thank you for your attention.
Today’s flight is operated in cooperation with our bankruptcy lawyers, Senson, Zedollar, and Associates, and our secured and unsecured creditor committees.
On this flight our frequent flyer members will earn approximately 1,500 miles, which will most likely be worthless at a later date.
Please direct your attention to the cabin crew for important safety information. There is a blank “Motion for Consideration of Unsecured Claims†located in the seat pocket in front of you.
Fasten your seatbelt by inserting the metal tip into the buckle. Belt-tightening may be necessary, and could become required as the fight, er flight, drags on. To release the seat belt, lift the metal flap on the buckle. It is this airline’s policy that you remain seated during all announcements regarding pay cuts, furloughs, and financial losses.
This aircraft has four exits on each side. Each door is equipped with a slide into Chapter 11, and some lead to Chapter 7 as well. Doors are clearly marked with exit signs and instructions for finding employment elsewhere. Locate the nearest exit; keeping in mind your opportunity to leave with your retirement savings intact may be behind you.
The cabin is pressurized. If there is a loss of employment, a panel will open and unemployment benefits will appear. Remain seated with your seatbelt fastened and pull a mask toward you. Benefits will begin flowing, although they will most likely not cover all of your bills.
Cover your mortgage and groceries with the benefits. Tighten your belt by eliminating all unnecessary expenses. Secure your own financial future before assisting others.
In the event of a forced Chapter 7 landing, the seat cushion underneath you will be owned by a creditor. Pull up and remove the cushion, and hand to the creditor committee’s lawyer upon leaving the aircraft.
This is a non-concessionary flight. Concessions are not allowed by the unions representing contract employees. Union rules prohibit offering or accepting concessions of any long-term value.
You will now be left in the dark about the company’s future. Information about what’s really going on can be found in newspapers and magazines. Thank you for your attention.
