You Might Be A Red Neck Pilot If....

highbladedown

Member
Oct 30, 2003
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You May Be A Redneck Pilot If...

... your stall warning plays "Dixie."

... your cross-country flight plan uses flea markets as check points.

... you think sectionals charts should show trailer parks.

... you've ever used moonshine as avgas.

... you have mud flaps on your wheel pants.

... you think GPS stands for going perfectly straight.

... your toothpick keeps poking your mike.

... you constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut.

... just before impact, you are heard saying, "Hey y'all, watch this!"

... you have a black airplane with a big #3 on the side.

... you've ever just taxied around the airport drinking beer.

... you use a Purina feed bag for a windsock.

... you fuel your wizzbang 140 from a Mason jar.

... you wouldn't be caught dead flyin' a Grumman "Yankee."

... you refer to flying in formation as "We got ourselves a convoy!"

... there is a sign on the side of your aircraft advertising your septic tank service.

... when you are the owner of Red Neck Airlines and pilot of Redneck One.

... you subscribe to The Southern Aviator because of the soft paper!

... you have ever incorporated sheetrock into the repair of your aircraft.

... you have ever responded to ATC with the phrase "That's a big 10-4!"

... you typically answer female controllers with titles like "sugar" or "little darlin'."

... she responds with the words "Honey" or "Big guy" then she may be a redneck.

... you have ever used a relief tube as a spittoon.

... you glance down at your belt buckle to help you remember your N-number.

... you have ever tried to impress your girlfriend by buzzing her doublewide.

... the preprinted portion of your weight and balance sheet contains "Case of Bud."

... your go/no-go checklist includes the words "Skoal" or "Redman."
 
......Thre are two wrecked airplanes up on blocks in your front yard.

..... You have an " Easy Rider" rifle rack mounted in your aircraft.

......You refer to the FAA as " Revenuers "

.....The accident report about your ground loop has " Cowboy Boots got caught under rudder pedal" as the primary cause.


l
 
......Thre are two wrecked airplanes up on blocks in your front yard.

..... You have an " Easy Rider" rifle rack mounted in your aircraft.

......You refer to the FAA as " Revenuers "

.....The accident report about your ground loop has " Cowboy Boots got caught under rudder pedal" as the primary cause.


l
 
- if someone yells "hoe down" and your flight attendants hit the floor...
- your inflight movie is dukes of hazzard re-runs...

:up: :D
 
Hell No:
I love my cowboy boots - can't fly a 205 / 212 without them and my railway engineer's hat. ( Not to mention the coal shovel ) :rolleyes:
No offense intended Helicopper please relimber the shoot'n arn. :D
Mind you I ain't seen yor boots specfic like : but I'm sure they are fine example of the breed.
 
all holster'd up agin pardner :D :D ... canadian zhitkickers by boulet dans la belle province... the best picklestabbers $150 cdn will git ya!!

git 'em snug... and they're like slippers within a week!
 
Being as I live in La Belle Province Boulet is my choice.
When I meander down Texas way I get Dan Post.

This is just another example of how we wander off topic. :huh:

Who and what is the dog in your photo?

I'm partial to Labs and Boxers myself. Unfortunately travel precludes getting one at the moment.
 
september 2001... "duke" came wandering across the field from a neighbouring farmhouse as we were relieving the locals (duke's owner!!??) of a sizeable (15,000 plants +/-??) pot grow from a swamp close by... he's pictured sitting on the tailgate of a 5 ton cube van full of dope... we grabbed one of the boys' hats and threw it on him for the flick... he had just finished gobbling up about 3 subway sandwiches prior to gettin' busted himself... the farmer/grower eventually wandered over to watch us sling out all his dope and i asked him "how old is duke, here??" to which he responded... "how'd ya know his name was duke?"!!!!!!!!!!
:D :D
 
... Ground traffic consists of Betsy the Cow and Cleetus the Goat.

... Your doors are welded shut and you have to crawl in through the windows.

... As you crawl thru the window you admire your bright Orange paint job and confederate flag painted on the wing.

... Your Cessna has a "Piss on Beechcraft" sticker on the back window.

... You make the Phonetic Alphabet sound less "queer" by replacing Romeo with Rusty and Juliet with Jugs, and Yankee gets switched to YEEEEEEEHHAAAAAAAAA!!!

... You use a Bingo-Dabber to mark your position on the map.

... You have a set of bull's horns mounted on the cowl.
 
Your flight apparel has all been ordered from the UFO Lab
#1 ADF is on Brother Joshua's all-time Religion and hog-callin' network
#2 is tuned to Paranormal Radio in Las Vegas
 
OK - I think I got the definitive answer: :)

Defending your sister's honour involves waterbombing the town watertower with a Bambi Bucket full of whitewash. :D
 

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