I Have Sinned!

[iflyjetz]

Fellow usavaitionite.comers, forgive me; I have sinned. I succombed to the carnal pleasures of the flesh and was rightly cast out from this internet aviation utopia. I was seduced by internet harlots and their siren song. The internet strumpets had so clouded my mind that I was overwhelmed with impure thoughts. In my disorientation, I tragically posted photos of several of these internet trollops.

In the interlude that has passed since my banishment, I have solemnly repented for my actions. I ask that you find forgiveness in your hearts for me.

OK, anyone want to tell me how this PM stuff works?


For those of you wondering about my new avatar, this link will answer your question: http://www.deceptioninthechurch.com/swaggart.html

 

[737nCH11]

Testify brother!!!!

P.S. That's either Jimmy Swaggart or Dick Ferris.

 

[iflyjetz]

I can now read my messages. Praise the (fill in the blank; I don't want to offend any of my brothers or sisters who are of different faith).
I received a message from brother Kyle. Thank you (albeit tardy) brother Kyle for informing me of the richly deserved punishment meted out to me for my transgressions.

 

[Busdrvr]

I can now read my messages. Praise the (fill in the blank; I don't want to offend any of my brothers or sisters who are of different faith).
I received a message from brother Kyle. Thank you (albeit tardy) brother Kyle for informing me of the richly deserved punishment meted out to me for my transgressions.

Ifly,
I was out of the country and was unfairly denied the pleasure of a post worthy of banning. please PM it to me

 

[iflyjetz]

Testify brother!!!!

Brother 737, I have been blessed with a vision during my solitude. It is that of a United rising from the ashes of Chap 11. Praise (fill in the blank; this is a nondenominational forum and we don't want to be politically incorrect by choosing a deity unacceptable by any of the usaviation.com masses)! Choir, please join me in a HALLELUJAH!

Brothers and sisters, I fear that one or two among us have been possessed by demonic spirits. I have been guided to call upon Father Merrin to exorcise the demons from brother Chippie's soul. As for brother (currently bigbusdriver, soon to be) bigrjdriver, the deities have made known to me that he is possessed by Little Nicky (Adam Sandler; rent the movie!) and poses no threat to United brethren. He will feed us with his EMB-170 in years to come out of PHL and CLT. Remember that if you give a man a fish and you have a meal; teach him to fish and you have a feeder airline. Praise (fill in the blank)!

For those of you wondering who Father Merrin is, rent 'The Exorcist.' Is that 'Tubular Bells?' Nope, just some voices in my head.

 

[737nCH11]

I would like to add brother Munn to the prayer request list. Last night he fell victim to the sin of lying. Maybe someone could provide him with (insert appropriate diety's name) i.p. address, so he can ask for forgiveness.

 

[Fly]

Brother IFlyJetz......glad to have you back. I get a lot of "shame on you's"...but never got a ban. Send me the pictures! I need to know where the line in the sand is, it's for my own good. :cop:

Praise the (diety) and pass the ammunition!

Sister Fly

 

[UnitedChicago]

Welcome back fly!

Jetz has been great in encouraging us to use PM's to discuss matters of a certain someone. It's been working quite well.

Your avatar is hilarious. It does look a bit like Ferris!

 

[novaqt]

Welcome back! LOL!!!

Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!.

 

[iflyjetz]

I would like to add brother Munn to the prayer request list. Last night he fell victim to the sin of lying. Maybe someone could provide him with (insert appropriate diety's name) i.p. address, so he can ask for forgiveness.

Brother 737, Father Merrin has assured me that brother Munn's demons WILL be expelled from him, no matter if it immolates brother Munn. (I want to assure all fellow usaviation.comers that I DO NOT view my brother Chip's repose with any jocularity; should brother Munn meet his demise, I will enter a period of mourning commensurate with brother Munn's contributions to usaviation.com).

From the choir, may I hear a HALLULUJUH!
Brothers and sisters, go forth and spread the word of United (WE WILL SURVIVE!).

Praise (choose your deity).

 

[gatemech]

You guys are killin me. I like the humor. Keep it up.

 

[LavMan]

Can you excerise chip off the US and UAL boards?

 

[novaqt]

LavMan:

I believe you mean "exorcise".

 

[iflyjetz]

Can you excerise chip off the US and UAL boards?

Brother Lavman, YES I CAN!
Chip, drop and give me 20!

But we must have pity on poor Brother Chip. Informed sources have told me (insert your favorite deity here) that the demons possessing him filled him with desire to break all of the pilots' seven deadly sins; paying for newspapers, trading in a sports car for a minivan, flirting with ugly women, sobriety, driving the speed limit, thinking that his airline's management is looking out for his interests, and coveting his neighbor pilot's assets (that's aircraft and route structure folks; get your minds out of the gutter :eye: ).

The (insert deity here) has struck me with a vision ... that vision is ... thy demons will be exorcised from poor Brother Chip next spring when Brother Tilton brings United out of Chapter 11 fully intact without having to sell any assets. I have also been blessed with a vision that most of the major airlines will begin recalling furloughees next spring as advanced bookings for next summer pick up.
Brothers and sisters, I'm almost sure that this vision has come from (insert deity here) and not from the Thunderbird wine and mutterings of the furloughed Delta pilot in the cardboard box next to mine.
From the choir, may I hear a HALLULUJUH!
Brothers and sisters, go forth and spread the word of United (we WILL survive!).

 

[scot]

On the one hand several posters complain about calling attention to someone posting on the UA board and then most of a whole thread is devoted to same person. Please either respond to posts or refrain from posting. Thread closed.
Thanks.