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Well, you are kinda funny, in a funny ha ha way,
Joke For The Day...
- Thread starter Whirlygirl
- Start date
Stealthray, there is a contest, just look at CTD pulling ahead in the backstretch again. If we all didn't have to work for a living, maybe we could have a chance of catching him.
Now if the newfie jokes bother you so much we could go to the left coast, make fun of them, but they're so stoned after cultivating the highest per capita cash crop of marijuanna this year, they'd never understand any joke. Then we could move to alberta, and hear them complain that the east is picking on them again, and they might consider seperating. Or we could do saskatchewan and manitoba, and joke about...nothing. But steer clear of winterpeg jokes, a certain guy from there who is quite educated in the CARS won't be impressed.
Now if the newfie jokes bother you so much we could go to the left coast, make fun of them, but they're so stoned after cultivating the highest per capita cash crop of marijuanna this year, they'd never understand any joke. Then we could move to alberta, and hear them complain that the east is picking on them again, and they might consider seperating. Or we could do saskatchewan and manitoba, and joke about...nothing. But steer clear of winterpeg jokes, a certain guy from there who is quite educated in the CARS won't be impressed.
Hey all, if people get offended by newfie jokes, they should check out this site...
http://www.offdarock.com/newfiejokes.asp
Check it out...
😀 😀
http://www.offdarock.com/newfiejokes.asp
Check it out...
😀 😀
Charles, you shouldn't say things like that or you'll anger a specific demagraphic. You should have said that you are an Islander-Canadian, that is also half civility challenged. 😉 😀Charles W. said:
Now in order to not offend anyone, we should create a list of P.C. terms for various traits, etc.
I'll start off:
Don't call them cowboys, instead it should be bovine operation technicians 😀
Anyone want to add some more ??
Cheers
Back when they were building Harmon AFB in Stephenville, two buddies were talking about going up to the site to look for work.
"How 'bout me an' you goin' up to the site, see if they gives we a job?"
"Nah b'y, I'se feared."
"You's feared? What you's feared of?"
"I'se feared 'o that high cue test. I heared you got to take a high cue test 'fore they gives you a job."
"Don't worry 'bout that ol' man, I'll go in first an' talk to 'en, an' then I'll tell you the answers."
Well, that was agreeable, and early the next morning the two laddies went up to look for a job.The one who wasn't feared went in first and passed the written exam with flying colours. On his way out of the employment office, the examiner said he had just a couple more quick questions. He picked up a letter opener from his desk and asked, "If I were to take this letter opener and put one of your eyes out, what would you be?"
"I'd be half blind sar!"
"And if I put your other eye out, what would you be?"
"I'd be all blind sar!"
"Well sir, those are pretty smart answers, you're hired. Welcome aboard."
The new hire went out to see his buddy.
"How'd it go b'y?"
"No trouble ol' man, nar problem 'tall. On th' way out, 'ee's goin' to ask you two questions. The answers is half blind and all blind."
The second guy goes in and successfully completes the written portion of the test. On his way out of the office, once again the examiner informed him he had a couple more quick questions. Picking up the letter opener he asked, "If I were to cut one of your ears off, what would you be?"
"I'd be half blind sar!"
"Hmmm..and if I cut your other ear off, what would you be?"
"I'd be all blind sar!"
"I tell you what, you seem like a pretty smart guy. Why would you be all blind if I cut both your ears off?"
"Well sar, if you cut both me ears off, there's nothin' to hold me cap up. "Ee'd fall down over me eyes an' I'd be all blind."
"How 'bout me an' you goin' up to the site, see if they gives we a job?"
"Nah b'y, I'se feared."
"You's feared? What you's feared of?"
"I'se feared 'o that high cue test. I heared you got to take a high cue test 'fore they gives you a job."
"Don't worry 'bout that ol' man, I'll go in first an' talk to 'en, an' then I'll tell you the answers."
Well, that was agreeable, and early the next morning the two laddies went up to look for a job.The one who wasn't feared went in first and passed the written exam with flying colours. On his way out of the employment office, the examiner said he had just a couple more quick questions. He picked up a letter opener from his desk and asked, "If I were to take this letter opener and put one of your eyes out, what would you be?"
"I'd be half blind sar!"
"And if I put your other eye out, what would you be?"
"I'd be all blind sar!"
"Well sir, those are pretty smart answers, you're hired. Welcome aboard."
The new hire went out to see his buddy.
"How'd it go b'y?"
"No trouble ol' man, nar problem 'tall. On th' way out, 'ee's goin' to ask you two questions. The answers is half blind and all blind."
The second guy goes in and successfully completes the written portion of the test. On his way out of the office, once again the examiner informed him he had a couple more quick questions. Picking up the letter opener he asked, "If I were to cut one of your ears off, what would you be?"
"I'd be half blind sar!"
"Hmmm..and if I cut your other ear off, what would you be?"
"I'd be all blind sar!"
"I tell you what, you seem like a pretty smart guy. Why would you be all blind if I cut both your ears off?"
"Well sar, if you cut both me ears off, there's nothin' to hold me cap up. "Ee'd fall down over me eyes an' I'd be all blind."
A platoon of marines were on patrol on the road between Basra and Baghdad when they came upon a badly injured Iraqi soldier in the ditch on the side of the road. In the ditch on the other side was a marine, only slightly less injured. After applying first aid to both combatants, the platoon Sargeant asked the marine what had happened.
"Sir," said the marine, "I was heavily armed and moving north along the road when I saw a heavily armed Iraqi soldier moving in the opposite direction. I attracted his attention and then yelled "Saddam Hussein is a piece of ####.""
"Then what happened?" asked the Sargeant.
"Well Sir," answered the marine, "he yelled "George Bush is a piece of ####" and we were in the middle of the road shaking hands when a bloody truck hit us!"
"Sir," said the marine, "I was heavily armed and moving north along the road when I saw a heavily armed Iraqi soldier moving in the opposite direction. I attracted his attention and then yelled "Saddam Hussein is a piece of ####.""
"Then what happened?" asked the Sargeant.
"Well Sir," answered the marine, "he yelled "George Bush is a piece of ####" and we were in the middle of the road shaking hands when a bloody truck hit us!"
