NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS

jimntx

Veteran
Jun 28, 2003
11,218
3,302
Dallas, TX
www.usaviation.com
CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to
mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no
allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants
as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your
assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears
down the toilet.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker
for $240 per share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who
bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked
up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.
 
I finally decided to take a peek at my IRA. Holy crap!!!!

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears
down the toilet.

These are terms I am now familiar with on an intimate level. I went to talk to the credit union financial gurus and he think we are close to the bottom and to stick it given that I will not retire till I am at least 190 years old (140 if I make a killing).

Tuck and roll baby ... tuck and roll.