Properties of hell

Ms Tree

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Jul 13, 2010
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Doubt it's true but I think it's pretty funny.

Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

As you study for exams, remember its not the quantity it's the quantity. And remember there is no substitute for pure unadulterated bull

Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "why do airplanes fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Two options exist:

If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.
If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be true...Thus, hell is exothermic."

The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.
 
I think a better question might be, Assuming there is a heaven and you arrive at the Pearly Gates what would you want St Peter to say to you?

For me it would be something like this. Hey Bob, Your Dad is over at the big round table, the Eagles game is on the big screen, the Stella Artois is ice cold, Ali, Fraser, Quarry & Wepner are with your Dad, hurry up they're waiting on you."
 
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If there is a heaven, I have a whole bunch of questions that I need answered before I decided if I want to stay or not.

My wife loves Stella beer.
 
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Heaven: where the police are British, the cooks French, the mechanics
German, the lovers Italian, and it is all organized and run by the Swiss.


Hell: where the police are German, the cooks British, the mechanics
French, the lovers Swiss, and it is all organized and run by the Italians.
 
If there is a heaven, I have a whole bunch of questions that I need answered before I decided if I want to stay or not.

My wife loves Stella beer.

I don't think it's going to be a matter of whether or not "You" decide to stay ! :eek:
 
I don't think it's going to be a matter of whether or not "You" decide to stay ! :eek:

Yeah exactly, for atheist afterlife the best they can look forward to is this:

20080718_maggots.jpg
 
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