Joe Isuzu.
"Hi, I'm Joe Isuzu, now here to talk about the New US Airways. Here in our newly remodeled and efficient Philadelphia hub we will cater to your every need. Our flights are always on time here in Philadelphia, your luggage will never be lost or treated badly and you will always always always receive prompt courteous service from all our employees.
The reason for this is that our management is placed such a high value on your complete satisfaction in every area of your US Airways travel experience. Let us say, for instance, that you are a Swami, and as such are not allowed to converse with women. We have sent out a memo and will vigorously terminate the employ of any female staff member who addresses you or tries to converse with you in any way.
"Our managers cower in their Phoenix compound at the mere mention of an FAA complaint report or an article from Consumer Reports. They want you to know that we treat all our customers with the greatest respect at all times, under all conditions and in every circumstance."
You will never encounter a bad experience on any US Airways flight.
"I'm Joe Isuzu and you have my word on it!"
