cramden nation update
It was a delightful holiday respite indeed for Mr. ralphcramden. The call of duty must be answered, however, and the steady flow of electronic messages from the ranks of cramden nation have galvanized your ready servant to action. The year’s first report has much important news, so let us begin. But first, here’s a fun game for the kids. Spot the letters AMR in the latest ralphcramden update, and you win an ice cream from Mom and Dad!
Delta Board Supports Management’s Stand-Alone Plan.
There were those, of course, in Peachtree City who hung on the solemn pronouncement from the Atlanta public relations “folks†that Delta’s board was fully, enthusiastically, unreservedly, orgasmically, 100% behind the stand-alone posturing of distinguished septuagenarian Mr. Gerald Grinstein. With the mature executive desperately holding the line like a senile Robert E Lee, the board’s pro forma statement of support elicited rebel yells in Georgia and yawns on Wall Street. As the average Georgian would be unable to define, much less spell, “pro forma,†Mr. ralphcramden shrewdly accepted the New York version of events.
One of Mr. ralphcramden’s very favorite investment bankers wryly noted that the New York Football Giants reliably enunciate similar public endorsements of their Simon Legree-like Head Coach Mr. Tom Coughlin. The off-the-record conversations of the underperforming team are known to be somewhat different.
There is a board rift at Delta, Mr. ralphcramden can confirm for you, and it is getting wider. The outside directors, successful business executives in their own right, have been hearing it from the creditors, and in spades. Their situation has only been made worse by the disastrous public rallies and cultish buffoonery recently on display in Hapeville. These embarrassing free-for-alls have been met by disbelief at the financial institutions, and the Delta leaderships’ already low standing has plummeted to Tom Cruise-like levels. The friends of Mr. ralphcramden report that the freakish hysterics have inspired a freshet of email jokes and derision on the Street, while cementing the perception that current Delta management is obtuse, a bit odd, and utterly incapable of executing a successful stand-alone turn around.
The Mechanic
The dramatic arrival on the scene of Mr. Gordon Bethune has further propelled the process forward. One of the compliments overheard regarding Mr. Bethune is that he is the kind of man who would fit right in as a member of cramden nation. Be that as it may, the G Man got right to work.
The hoary Mr. Bethune, who began his career with military service as an enlisted aircraft mechanic, has never been overly impressed by the twitchy, emasculated conformists of today’s officer corps, as typified by the inhabitants of DALRQ’s cockpits. It was right down to business for the no-nonsense executive, and the rallies, buttons, and internet wailing of those paper tigers received the full consideration they deserve.
In character, Mr. Bethune cut right to the chase. The result was the “enhanced offer†from LCC, which could be described with equal exactitude as the “real offer.†It was an expected part of the process, and was greeted by laconic shrugs in the Empire State. It has been reported, however, that the reaction south of Atlanta was a mass contagion of facial tics and curious throat clearing.
While the proposal is considered, the ongoing dialogue among the parties will continue. The “parties†are not just LCC and DALRQ. Mr. Bethune has been talking to everyone, as has the Phoenix Boy Wonder. There will be further changes ahead, as predicted long ago by none other than Mr. ralphcramden. Meanwhile, the horse trading has begun in earnest, the creditors have ratcheted up the pressure, and LCC shall very soon have their due diligence.
It was the loyal members of cramden nation who became aware of the interest of LUV, AAI, JBLU, UAUA and NWACQ long before any other news source had so much as a whisper. Mr. ralphcramden was all over this evolving story while the hapless denizens of US Aviation.com’s dreadful DALRQ message board cheered the industry domination fantasies of the formerly ubiquitous “WorldTraveler.†With benefit of hindsight, the postings of this tragic, Willie Loman-esque, middle management drone read like a strange, Timothy Leary-inspired LSD experiment gone bad. Members of cramden nation can only wish him the very best in his new career.
Ugly American
Mr. ralphcramden’s upper class contacts have been informed that AMR has expressed strong interest in purchasing the DCA-LGA-BOS shuttle operation. They join UAUA as likely bidders. More information on this developing story will be reported as it becomes available.
A Georgia Pig Pickin’
The industry is in play, no doubt, and a number of outcomes are possible. Always mindful of his loyal nation of enthusiasts, Mr. ralphcramden has asked his investment banking sources for their unvarnished opinion on the most likely outcome of the LCC-DALRQ drama. Never reticent, these Masters of the Universe and charter members of cramden nation have delivered. And away we go.........
LCC and NWACQ, according to these titans, will both be involved in taking major parts of DALRQ. Once the fat carcass of DALRQ has been carved up and shared with the likes of JBLU, LUV, AAI, UAUA and AMR, the answer to the debt question will be evident. “It will be a leveraged buyout in disguise,†according to one of Mr. ralphcramden’s sources. Old Gordo will have done his job, and the creditors will have their pound of flesh.
Forget the latest news cycle’s buzz about NWACQ and DALRQ “talking merger.†This was quickly dismissed by Mr. ralphcramden’s favorite bankers. “More like Delta pleading with Northwest,†laughed one. “Northwest wants the whole pig less than Parker,†he added. According to these astute observers, Northwest is interested only in certain parts of Delta. In Bethunian fashion, one even labeled the rumors of a full NWACQ-DALRQ merger “Bull****.â€
Oh yes, Mr. ralphcramden can assure you, LCC will not be absorbing the elephant whole. There are discussions on top of discussions, with many participants, and Mr. ralphcramden’s sources have confirmed that Mr. Doug Parker is the Toast of the Town in Manhattan. Consolidation is here, Boy Parker has got a tiger by the tail, and Mr. ralphcramden intends to provide you, dear reader, with a ring side seat.
regards,
ralphcramden
It was a delightful holiday respite indeed for Mr. ralphcramden. The call of duty must be answered, however, and the steady flow of electronic messages from the ranks of cramden nation have galvanized your ready servant to action. The year’s first report has much important news, so let us begin. But first, here’s a fun game for the kids. Spot the letters AMR in the latest ralphcramden update, and you win an ice cream from Mom and Dad!
Delta Board Supports Management’s Stand-Alone Plan.
There were those, of course, in Peachtree City who hung on the solemn pronouncement from the Atlanta public relations “folks†that Delta’s board was fully, enthusiastically, unreservedly, orgasmically, 100% behind the stand-alone posturing of distinguished septuagenarian Mr. Gerald Grinstein. With the mature executive desperately holding the line like a senile Robert E Lee, the board’s pro forma statement of support elicited rebel yells in Georgia and yawns on Wall Street. As the average Georgian would be unable to define, much less spell, “pro forma,†Mr. ralphcramden shrewdly accepted the New York version of events.
One of Mr. ralphcramden’s very favorite investment bankers wryly noted that the New York Football Giants reliably enunciate similar public endorsements of their Simon Legree-like Head Coach Mr. Tom Coughlin. The off-the-record conversations of the underperforming team are known to be somewhat different.
There is a board rift at Delta, Mr. ralphcramden can confirm for you, and it is getting wider. The outside directors, successful business executives in their own right, have been hearing it from the creditors, and in spades. Their situation has only been made worse by the disastrous public rallies and cultish buffoonery recently on display in Hapeville. These embarrassing free-for-alls have been met by disbelief at the financial institutions, and the Delta leaderships’ already low standing has plummeted to Tom Cruise-like levels. The friends of Mr. ralphcramden report that the freakish hysterics have inspired a freshet of email jokes and derision on the Street, while cementing the perception that current Delta management is obtuse, a bit odd, and utterly incapable of executing a successful stand-alone turn around.
The Mechanic
The dramatic arrival on the scene of Mr. Gordon Bethune has further propelled the process forward. One of the compliments overheard regarding Mr. Bethune is that he is the kind of man who would fit right in as a member of cramden nation. Be that as it may, the G Man got right to work.
The hoary Mr. Bethune, who began his career with military service as an enlisted aircraft mechanic, has never been overly impressed by the twitchy, emasculated conformists of today’s officer corps, as typified by the inhabitants of DALRQ’s cockpits. It was right down to business for the no-nonsense executive, and the rallies, buttons, and internet wailing of those paper tigers received the full consideration they deserve.
In character, Mr. Bethune cut right to the chase. The result was the “enhanced offer†from LCC, which could be described with equal exactitude as the “real offer.†It was an expected part of the process, and was greeted by laconic shrugs in the Empire State. It has been reported, however, that the reaction south of Atlanta was a mass contagion of facial tics and curious throat clearing.
While the proposal is considered, the ongoing dialogue among the parties will continue. The “parties†are not just LCC and DALRQ. Mr. Bethune has been talking to everyone, as has the Phoenix Boy Wonder. There will be further changes ahead, as predicted long ago by none other than Mr. ralphcramden. Meanwhile, the horse trading has begun in earnest, the creditors have ratcheted up the pressure, and LCC shall very soon have their due diligence.
It was the loyal members of cramden nation who became aware of the interest of LUV, AAI, JBLU, UAUA and NWACQ long before any other news source had so much as a whisper. Mr. ralphcramden was all over this evolving story while the hapless denizens of US Aviation.com’s dreadful DALRQ message board cheered the industry domination fantasies of the formerly ubiquitous “WorldTraveler.†With benefit of hindsight, the postings of this tragic, Willie Loman-esque, middle management drone read like a strange, Timothy Leary-inspired LSD experiment gone bad. Members of cramden nation can only wish him the very best in his new career.
Ugly American
Mr. ralphcramden’s upper class contacts have been informed that AMR has expressed strong interest in purchasing the DCA-LGA-BOS shuttle operation. They join UAUA as likely bidders. More information on this developing story will be reported as it becomes available.
A Georgia Pig Pickin’
The industry is in play, no doubt, and a number of outcomes are possible. Always mindful of his loyal nation of enthusiasts, Mr. ralphcramden has asked his investment banking sources for their unvarnished opinion on the most likely outcome of the LCC-DALRQ drama. Never reticent, these Masters of the Universe and charter members of cramden nation have delivered. And away we go.........
LCC and NWACQ, according to these titans, will both be involved in taking major parts of DALRQ. Once the fat carcass of DALRQ has been carved up and shared with the likes of JBLU, LUV, AAI, UAUA and AMR, the answer to the debt question will be evident. “It will be a leveraged buyout in disguise,†according to one of Mr. ralphcramden’s sources. Old Gordo will have done his job, and the creditors will have their pound of flesh.
Forget the latest news cycle’s buzz about NWACQ and DALRQ “talking merger.†This was quickly dismissed by Mr. ralphcramden’s favorite bankers. “More like Delta pleading with Northwest,†laughed one. “Northwest wants the whole pig less than Parker,†he added. According to these astute observers, Northwest is interested only in certain parts of Delta. In Bethunian fashion, one even labeled the rumors of a full NWACQ-DALRQ merger “Bull****.â€
Oh yes, Mr. ralphcramden can assure you, LCC will not be absorbing the elephant whole. There are discussions on top of discussions, with many participants, and Mr. ralphcramden’s sources have confirmed that Mr. Doug Parker is the Toast of the Town in Manhattan. Consolidation is here, Boy Parker has got a tiger by the tail, and Mr. ralphcramden intends to provide you, dear reader, with a ring side seat.
regards,
ralphcramden
