Doggie Miles
- Thread starter mrfish3726
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casual rat
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I think it's good Marketing...at least it's understandable, unlike the 'Rising' faux pas...IMHO
Terrific marketing ploy! TED TAKES ON SNOOPY!! Or, SNOOPY TRAVELS WITH TED!! However, the boarding of pooches in cargo hold better interfere with On Time Performance. Glad UA is the airline of choice for the American Kennel Clubs.
cybercat
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Pandemonium Express, the no-frills airline whose low, low fares gave new meaning to the words "rock bottom," has named Larry Hangman its new director of future and retroactive planning. Pandemonium is the low-fare off shoot of Crisscross Air, so called because it does not seem to know if it’s coming or going.
Mr. Hangman is well known throughout the airline industry for his innovative pricing strategies. During his tenure at the now-defunct Gulp Air, the upstart carrier that brought back seat-of-the-pants flying, Hangman's K-9 Fare and Bulkhead Flyer programs created new chapters in commercial aviation and, some say, hastened Gulp's demise. Mr. Hangman created a special area on the plane for the exclusive use of dogs, complete with fake fireplugs and real bones. A special attendant, Lassie Bassett, was hired to patrol the area.
Unfortunately, Gulp hadn't reckoned with Slash Gordon, a cat who'd escaped from his kennel in the cargo hold a month earlier, and had been living on the plane ever since. Slash, enticed from his hiding place by cooking smells from the galley, entered the main cabin and was immediately set upon by eight dogs.
The animals chased through all three cabins, toppling drink carts, and leaping across the tops of seats and over passengers' heads. Slash finally took refuge in an open overhead luggage compartment in first class while the canine pack circled a little old lady below, baying and yelping and, in one case, pointing. The captain set down in Omaha and the dogs were off-loaded. Miss Bassett, who'd joined in the fracas, was fired and sent back to the ASPCA.
The Bulkhead Flyer on the other hand, was Gulp's most popular program, ever. At least, in theory.
"My research has found," Mr. Hangman stated at a press conference last year, "that most, if not all, passengers are over seven feet tall and have at least one bum leg, since they invariably request bulkhead row seats. In case you're unfamiliar with the term, I am referring to that first row of seats after each cabin partition. There's extra leg room and no-one in front of you to recline his seat back into your meal or your lap." Mr. Hangman's idea was to reconfigure the entire plane so that every passenger could have a bulkhead seat. The inaugural flight sold out months in advance.
Only when the aircraft tried to zoom down the runway did anyone realize that the extra bulkheads had added so much weight that the Bulkead Flyer wouldn't fly. The plane had to taxi all the way to Los Angeles.
Mr. Hangman had barely settled into his new office at Pandemonium when Penurious Airway's introduction of a new non-refundable $150 fare from anywhere in the U.S. to Tel Aviv caught everyone by surprise.
Asked if Pandemonium planned to match Penurious, Mr. Hangman declared, "Of course. Pandemonium will not be undersold! Our new $99.95 Abraham Fare will be completely refundable. I think non-refundables stink. Changing your plans shouldn't mean waving bye bye to your money, nosiree. At Pandemonium, no customer ever has to lose a dime. All we'll require is the sacrifice of your first born son."
Mr. Hangman is well known throughout the airline industry for his innovative pricing strategies. During his tenure at the now-defunct Gulp Air, the upstart carrier that brought back seat-of-the-pants flying, Hangman's K-9 Fare and Bulkhead Flyer programs created new chapters in commercial aviation and, some say, hastened Gulp's demise. Mr. Hangman created a special area on the plane for the exclusive use of dogs, complete with fake fireplugs and real bones. A special attendant, Lassie Bassett, was hired to patrol the area.
Unfortunately, Gulp hadn't reckoned with Slash Gordon, a cat who'd escaped from his kennel in the cargo hold a month earlier, and had been living on the plane ever since. Slash, enticed from his hiding place by cooking smells from the galley, entered the main cabin and was immediately set upon by eight dogs.
The animals chased through all three cabins, toppling drink carts, and leaping across the tops of seats and over passengers' heads. Slash finally took refuge in an open overhead luggage compartment in first class while the canine pack circled a little old lady below, baying and yelping and, in one case, pointing. The captain set down in Omaha and the dogs were off-loaded. Miss Bassett, who'd joined in the fracas, was fired and sent back to the ASPCA.
The Bulkhead Flyer on the other hand, was Gulp's most popular program, ever. At least, in theory.
"My research has found," Mr. Hangman stated at a press conference last year, "that most, if not all, passengers are over seven feet tall and have at least one bum leg, since they invariably request bulkhead row seats. In case you're unfamiliar with the term, I am referring to that first row of seats after each cabin partition. There's extra leg room and no-one in front of you to recline his seat back into your meal or your lap." Mr. Hangman's idea was to reconfigure the entire plane so that every passenger could have a bulkhead seat. The inaugural flight sold out months in advance.
Only when the aircraft tried to zoom down the runway did anyone realize that the extra bulkheads had added so much weight that the Bulkead Flyer wouldn't fly. The plane had to taxi all the way to Los Angeles.
Mr. Hangman had barely settled into his new office at Pandemonium when Penurious Airway's introduction of a new non-refundable $150 fare from anywhere in the U.S. to Tel Aviv caught everyone by surprise.
Asked if Pandemonium planned to match Penurious, Mr. Hangman declared, "Of course. Pandemonium will not be undersold! Our new $99.95 Abraham Fare will be completely refundable. I think non-refundables stink. Changing your plans shouldn't mean waving bye bye to your money, nosiree. At Pandemonium, no customer ever has to lose a dime. All we'll require is the sacrifice of your first born son."
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