I think I need help. Help? Resources?

[USAIRFA1985]

I don't know where to turn.

I am scared.

I cannot move.

I spend most of my days in bed, all day, every day.

I am not lazy. I cry. All day. Every day.

I have been to see every doctor, every psychiatrist, every GP for a workup, and everything is "normal".

Except me.

One day, I stopped being able to move.

When I think about what may be wrong, my brain screams "PTSD".

I am not even sure what that is. But I do know this-

I lost a good friend on 1493 in Lax.

That seemed to be the trigger.

Then-

A few years of pay cuts and pay cuts and pay cuts and consistent belittling "memos" from certain management, insulting my intelligence. (Yes, should have QUIT right there, but we were "family".)


Then-

People I knew dearly-many, many of my fellow employees-kept dying unnatural deaths.

I attended lots of funerals.


Perhaps it's because on 9/11, not only did I live 1/4 mile from the Pentagon, and hear the screams and smell the smoke-but I lost another friend that day on #93 in Pittsburgh (God, it's a small world in the industry, isn't it?)

Perhaps it's because I worked so hard for so many years, and went through so much sh** for this company for so many years (and won awards, by the way, for being "best of the best" yada yada yada...<rolls eyes>) only to be told I was now to pick up garbage and snot rags.

Perhaps it's because the company's ultimate insult was to accuse my dedicated work group of Flight Attendants in the Press, who had SERVED THE COMPANY DUTIFULLY for MANY years of "calling in sick" over Christmas in PHL and THEN asking for free help.....

Oh, I dunno, perhaps it was Siegal's insulting video.

Perhaps it was Rakesh and Wolf raping the coffers, demanding even MORE pay cuts, then leaving with golden parachutes prior to leaving the company in Banktrupcy.

Twice.

Perhaps it was the two pilots I knew who left their families with excellent insurance policies because it was more money than their retirement after being turned over to the PBGC.

Well, we'll negate the fact that they had to put a gun to their heads and blow their heads off to provide a future for their families.

Oh, I dunno. Do I sound disturbed?

EAP? LOL Joke.

Psychiatrists? Tried EVERY SINGLE ONE. None yet that can help.

Medication? Tried EVERY SINGLE ONE of those too.

Kinda gets expensive when you have NO INCOME.

So. Sorry. I do not want to be a SOB STORY.

But I have not been able to MOVE in about one year. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I cannot even fill out a disability form.

I have serious issues with 9/11. I have serious issues with the company. Things I haven't even said.

I want to GET UP.
I want to LIVE AGAIN.

Is it possible to have PTSD without having been directly involved in "incidents", but yet, fully "involved" in the industry?

Has ANYONE ELSE lived this HELL and comeout the other end?

What did you do?

Help me DEAL.

ANY AND ALL REPLIES ABSOLUTELY CONFIDENTIAL.

 

[Hello3B]

Have you tried praying.

 

[EightySix]

You're not a victim, remember that. Victims are the ones no longer with us in this world. It sounds like work is what your life revolves around. Do you have friends, family, church? Do you exercise? How's your diet? Seriously, you are not alone in your circumstances but you may be in the way you are reacting to them. Sounds like your job is consuming your every being. That's a dangerous place to be. While your work should be an important part of your life, it shouldn't be the very thing that makes you wake up in the morning. You're not working now? Do something with yourself. Take a class, even if it is how to make jewelry or fix a car. Socialize. Exercise every day. If you are so inclined join a church.
Don't take anti-depressants if they aren't working, they will only make you more depressed. And if you really cannot take the stresses at work, work somewhere else. Nobody is going to make you stay...

 

[PQAKnow-It-All]

You're not a victim, remember that. Victims are the ones no longer with us in this world. It sounds like work is what your life revolves around. Do you have friends, family, church? Do you exercise? How's your diet? Seriously, you are not alone in your circumstances but you may be in the way you are reacting to them. Sounds like your job is consuming your every being. That's a dangerous place to be. While your work should be an important part of your life, it shouldn't be the very thing that makes you wake up in the morning. You're not working now? Do something with yourself. Take a class, even if it is how to make jewelry or fix a car. Socialize. Exercise every day. If you are so inclined join a church.
Don't take anti-depressants if they aren't working, they will only make you more depressed. And if you really cannot take the stresses at work, work somewhere else. Nobody is going to make you stay...

Good advise. hope it works.

 

[Dea Certe]

USAIRFA1985,

The fact that you want to get better is a good start. Don't give up. Try to eat good food, drinks lots of water and take care of your nutrition. If you can only do one thing a day, get out of the house into natural light for at least twenty minutes. It will help you feel a little better.

Try to get in a little exercise. Start slow. Just a 10 minute walk can make a difference. Listen to some light classical music.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can be devastating. It's treatable, but you need to find some one who is familiar with it and KNOWS how to treat it. Just because some one has a PhD or MD doesn't mean they are experts on PTSD but might be able to refer you to a properly trained professional.

You've been through a lot. Please PM me if I can help you.

Dea

 

[smmech]

If your sysmtoms are as severe as you say then you need in paitient treatment. I have suffered from severe deppresion for most of my adult life and I know some of what you are going through. Call a friend or a family member who you trust and just break down, let them know what is going on. They will help you know when you cant help yourself.

For me the light at the end of the tunnel when I feel doomed or like nothing matters..etc is that I have gone through it before and I know it will end. It will end for you to, and you will get through this.

Until it does, find someone who cares about you to help you get the help you need.. Agreed with all above stating that drugs are not the answer but sometimes they are a necisary part of a program to get you well..

Good luck

 

[USAIRFA1985]

For those that have offered words of advice or encouragement, either in response here, or by private email, thank you.

Thank You.

I have read each and every reply and wanted you to know that.

I can feel the warmth, the holding of my hand, and the unique kind of caring that the "people in this industry" emote.

For those that are worried about me harming myself, know that it never has been an issue. I am struggling with living through this.

Again-Thank You....for helping me to remember what wonderful people I have to come back to when I am able to return to work.

 

[noname]

For those that have offered words of advice or encouragement, either in response here, or by private email, thank you.

Thank You.

I have read each and every reply and wanted you to know that.

I can feel the warmth, the holding of my hand, and the unique kind of caring that the "people in this industry" emote.

For those that are worried about me harming myself, know that it never has been an issue. I am struggling with living through this.

Again-Thank You....for helping me to remember what wonderful people I have to come back to when I am able to return to work.

When things get tough, please reread the responses and especially your own post to remind yourself that others do care!

 

[delldude]

I don't know where to turn.

I am scared.

I cannot move.

I spend most of my days in bed, all day, every day.

I am not lazy. I cry. All day. Every day.

I have been to see every doctor, every psychiatrist, every GP for a workup, and everything is "normal".

Except me.

One day, I stopped being able to move.

When I think about what may be wrong, my brain screams "PTSD".

I am not even sure what that is. But I do know this-

I lost a good friend on 1493 in Lax.

That seemed to be the trigger.

Then-

A few years of pay cuts and pay cuts and pay cuts and consistent belittling "memos" from certain management, insulting my intelligence. (Yes, should have QUIT right there, but we were "family".)
Then-

People I knew dearly-many, many of my fellow employees-kept dying unnatural deaths.

I attended lots of funerals.
Perhaps it's because on 9/11, not only did I live 1/4 mile from the Pentagon, and hear the screams and smell the smoke-but I lost another friend that day on #93 in Pittsburgh (God, it's a small world in the industry, isn't it?)

Perhaps it's because I worked so hard for so many years, and went through so much sh** for this company for so many years (and won awards, by the way, for being "best of the best" yada yada yada...<rolls eyes>) only to be told I was now to pick up garbage and snot rags.

Perhaps it's because the company's ultimate insult was to accuse my dedicated work group of Flight Attendants in the Press, who had SERVED THE COMPANY DUTIFULLY for MANY years of "calling in sick" over Christmas in PHL and THEN asking for free help.....

Oh, I dunno, perhaps it was Siegal's insulting video.

Perhaps it was Rakesh and Wolf raping the coffers, demanding even MORE pay cuts, then leaving with golden parachutes prior to leaving the company in Banktrupcy.

Twice.

Perhaps it was the two pilots I knew who left their families with excellent insurance policies because it was more money than their retirement after being turned over to the PBGC.

Well, we'll negate the fact that they had to put a gun to their heads and blow their heads off to provide a future for their families.

Oh, I dunno. Do I sound disturbed?

EAP? LOL Joke.

Psychiatrists? Tried EVERY SINGLE ONE. None yet that can help.

Medication? Tried EVERY SINGLE ONE of those too.

Kinda gets expensive when you have NO INCOME.

So. Sorry. I do not want to be a SOB STORY.

But I have not been able to MOVE in about one year. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I cannot even fill out a disability form.

I have serious issues with 9/11. I have serious issues with the company. Things I haven't even said.

I want to GET UP.
I want to LIVE AGAIN.

Is it possible to have PTSD without having been directly involved in "incidents", but yet, fully "involved" in the industry?

Has ANYONE ELSE lived this HELL and comeout the other end?

What did you do?

Help me DEAL.

ANY AND ALL REPLIES ABSOLUTELY CONFIDENTIAL.

you might try leaving the friggin' industry......its not that bad once you get distance.....believe me

 

[l8rd8r]

Lexapro!

I've been where you are. The blood running through my veins as cold as ice. Our brain has an amazing ability to disable us. You have the ability to communicate on this forum so use that and find other forums too. Most government forms are on line. Get yourself on a schedule. This forum helped me emmensely. I've been able to get out of bed at 6:30 just to get to my computer. Check out justplanenews.com first then come see us believe me it will be so helpful and amazing. The Lexapro is new so hopefully you've not tried it. Stay with us and talk. Happy Holidays and God Bless.