Just a little humor from a few year ago.


Aug 26, 2002
The Great Airline Race
Southwest Airlines and US Airways decided to have a canoe race on the Mississippi River.
Both teams practiced long and hard to reach
their peak performance before the race.
On the big day, Southwest won by a mile.
Afterwards, the US Airways team became very depressed and discouraged. The US Airways management decided that a reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A "Measurement Team" made up of senior management was formed. They would investigate and recommend appropriate action.
They concluded that Southwest had 8 people rowing
and one person steering,
while US Airways had 1 person rowing
and 8 people steering.
So US Airways management hired a consulting company and paid them incredible amounts of money. After many weeks of study the consulting company advised that too many people were steering the boat and not enough people were rowing.
To prevent losing to Southwest next year, the rowing team''s management structure was totally reorganized. There would be 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager. US Airways also implemented a new performance system that would give the
1 rower a greater incentive to work harder.
The "Rowing Team Quality First Program" had meetings, dinners and included free pens for the rower. "We will give the rower empowerment and enrichments through this quality program," management said.
Next year, Southwest won by two miles.
Humiliated, US Airways management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles and canceled all capital investments for the new equipment. Then they gave a "High Performance" award to the steering managers and distributed the money they saved, as bonuses to the senior executives.
That is such a flippin' accurate picture of U's management, I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry.

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