I AM DONALD TRUMP. I AM THE GREATEST PRESIDENT EVER TO HOLD THE OFFICE OF PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.. I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY ENDED INFLATION, EVEN THOUGH THE PRICE OF EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE ABOUT 3% HIGHER. OH YEAH... AND I INHERITED A COUNTRY THAT WAS ON THE BRINK OF COLLAPSE BECAUSE MY PREDECESSOR WAS SUCH A SHITTY GUY. AND TDS CAN BE LETAL, JUST ASK ROB REINER. I WANT TO THANK MY BIGGEST FAN, THE WEASE ON THAT AVIATION BOARD. I HOPE TO MEET HIM SOME DAY AS I HEARD HE HAS TO SOFTEST LIPS OF ANY OF MY FOLLOWERS AND MY HEMORRHOIDS ARE BOTHERING ME AND I NEED THE RELIEF.