The Galley Show - Part Deux

Dog Wonder

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OMG.

I can't believe the Brazilian Police went for it. That soccer team has some juice.

That engine wasn't even smoking, or eating medicinal brownies. We are stuck here for Carnivale. Floyd says its about eating meat. Who cares if everyone gets mugged. We have eleven dates. Not counting some juicy subs.

Gloria, Betty, make sure we get all the tapes this time.
 
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Gloria, I don’t know why everyone is complaneing about no more free coffee in the Crew Room. We always had to pay for it before the American West merger. I just drink coffee from the airplane and I don’t care if the water tank is full of Sea Monkeys like that mechanic said. Every night I drink some of the minis that fell into my rollerboard, so that kills all the bugs anyway.

Speaking of minis and coffee, do you remember when Floyd was a new hire and he thought the Baileys was coffee creamer? He got so drunk he fell down the DC-9 airstairs in ABE.
 
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Gloria, doesn't that Marine look handsome? He told me that he just got back from a tour in Afghanistan. Do you think we can get the copier guy to use his CHPR companion upgrade to get into him first? I would just move him, but you know how Tempe feels about that. Those American West, people. I tell yinz!
 
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Gloria Holtz

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Gloria, I don’t know why everyone is complaneing about no more free coffee in the Crew Room. We always had to pay for it before the American West merger. I just drink coffee from the airplane and I don’t care if the water tank is full of Sea Monkeys like that mechanic said. Every night I drink some of the minis that fell into my rollerboard, so that kills all the bugs anyway.

Speaking of minis and coffee, do you remember when Floyd was a new hire and he thought the Baileys was coffee creamer? He got so drunk he fell down the DC-9 airstairs in ABE.


Those were the good old days when we could pound a beer after take off and prepare for landing meant hair makeup shoes and pound another beer. Floyd fell in so many places I couldn't keep up. Now I always make my mochachinos with airplane coffee and then i use the grinds to freshen up the lav. The mechanics act like it is such a big deal to make the lav want to smell decent. But see if the like spending half of their career sitting next to the smell of lav juice...ugggh...well charging for coffee in the crew room is just plane tacky and what this american west greedy merger is all about. First they shut the best hub in the country and now they want to charge me for coffee in the crew room...That is crazy...next they will want to charge me for the minis I take on layovers...ugggh...oh yeah that marine is cute...short like most marines..i prefer those big army hulks.....I don't care I am going to command he take the open seat up here...let's see if i still have it.
 
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h...oh yeah that marine is cute...short like most marines..i prefer those big army hulks.....I don't care I am going to command he take the open seat up here...let's see if i still have it.


As far as I am concerned, you still have it. So let's just move the Marine and not bother the copier guy. Do want me to get him his Gin & Tonic. Maybe I'll recommend the fish to him.
 
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Betty, the language professor in 2D is teaching the copier guy how to say "this wine tastes bad, but even worse in the plastic party cup" In French and Spanish.

"de este vino sabe mal, pero peor aún en el partido vaso de plástico "

You can learn so much in this job.
 
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YVINTERN

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Ladies and Gentlemen this is the Co-Pilot Yinzburg speaking, will the gate agent non-rev from the Queen City that just dyed the new blue leather seat red report to the Flight Deck for public embarrassment and humiliation before we land in Phoenix, oh and we can't tell you the route of our flight today so we're flying past the Mississippi River, then over the Alamo, and a 360 degree turn around the Canyon with a continuation to the Stratosphere. That will be all and please see our enchanting Flight Attendants Betty, Gloria, and Floyd for complimentary Lav-aaa Juice!!
 
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Floyd, you know, it has been a while since I've the copier guy and that language professor from North Carolina. They used to fly so much. And whatever happened to that wine salesman? Where was from? Some place up north. Guess they are just not travelling as much as they once did.

Remember how we used to find Scientific American and Harper's in the seat pockets? Not it seem like people just read People and the Weekly World News. Well, you learn something in those magazines, too. I had no idea that the Amazing Frog Boy was still around. First heard about him back in my L-1011 days. You'd think he'd be the Amazing Frog Man by now.

Hey speaking of that plane, Floyd, did I ever tell about the crazy things we used to do the lower deck galley? Oh, those were the days.
 
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Dog Wonder

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Betty, did you hear they tried to 'retire' Gloria. Said she was a tired dead horse. Took her to Miguel's for lunch. After her third margarita the cameras came out and and they had a plaque already made.

They got some pictures. Gloria with a tie in one hand and a plaque in the other. She lifted that new supe (you know he got picked based on juniority) up, yanked him over her knee and started 'teaching him some manners'.

Floyd got so excited he put a dollar in the jukebox and fired up some of that European techno music he always has on and started pogoing around. The supe fell off of Gloria's knee and was wailing on the floor. Gloria told him he could keep the plaque for a pillow.

Floyd and Gloria danced over him, caught a ride with a pilot friend and left the supe with the tab.

Do you think they will send her back to training?
 
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Did you hear about that FA that got suspended after throwing a woman from the TV show Survivor off the plane? All the PAX did was have a big bag and then say “Jesusâ€￾. I wonder if the FA was Born-Again Brenda, that crazy one that leaves little booklets about God all over the crew room.

Remember when that copier salesman in F wanted a gin & tonic on a Sunday? Brenda went all nutty saying how booze was a sin. Then she started quoting bible verses like Austin 3:16 and Poseidon 4:09, or something like that. That’s so retarted! If I don’t feel like serving drinks I just say its against FAR Regulations, that usually shuts up needy PAX fast.
 
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OMG, that Brenda! Remember all the times she has tried to "save" Floyd! I think she finally gave up. And how that layover in SFO on Gay Pride Day messed her up. I feel kinda bad for telling her "Oh, they do this on every Sunday around here.
Heck I even shocked with her with the lower deck galley stories from when I flew on the L1011.

Thanks, I needed the laugh. I was feeling sad about Peter Graves. I hope Clarance has his clearance to see gladiator movies up there.
 
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Gloria Holtz

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Uggh...how long does this Israel flight go on for? This is like working a triple LGA-PBI turn back in the 80s....NO MAAM we don't have Sanka...we will be through with a coffee service in a few minutes...I told the new hire reserve back there to set up a coffee service and she gave me a nasty look...I mean I am so sorry little miss new hire but you are the galley. And she keeps going on and on about reserve and I told her ... listen I don't know how you got on this trip worth all these hours as a new hire but I would have done anything to fly international back when i was on reserve...you know these new hires are so full of attitude. Anyways, the AFA saw to it that I was paid for the trip they removed me from last week. My supervisor took me out to celebrate my 40th flying anniversary and he said I acted in appropriately or something..but I told him it was the OxyContin which I have a script for so take that USAirways..I have them the 40 best years of my life so they better get ready for the 40 worst...Oh well...come and get me when you go on break..I love that we are getting double breaks on this trip...
 
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