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Howard Stern is, hands down, the greatest celebrity interviewer ever. His unparalleled prying ability and imposing stature completely disarms his eager-to-please guests, who crumble under a barrage of deeply personal questions. It’s also an exercise in ego-fuel—for both Howard, and his guest(s); a 6:30 a.m. on-air circle jerk. And as far as masturbatory self-disclosure goes, well, no one tops The Donald.
Yes, Donald Trump, a man once accused of “rape,” a man who delivers racist rants directed at illegal immigrants yet allegedly built his empire on the backs of them, and a man who drones on and on about how he’d kick-start the economy when his actual catchphrase is “You’re Fired,” possesses that rare mix of foot-in-mouth syndrome and unbridled egotism that makes him a perfect match for the Howard Stern Show. We’ve already chronicled his truly insane fight on the Stern Show from 2001, where Trump bragged for 30 minutes about stealing a gossip columnist’s girlfriend (“Any girl you have, I can take from you,” he said), but in 2013, the real estate mogul/mouth-breather, who’s somehow jumped way far ahead of the GOP presidential pack heading into Thursday night’s first round of televised debates, gave arguably his most unfiltered, wackiest interview to date.
Trump was on the Stern Show to promote The Apprentice and his Miss Universe Pageant, and, in his nasally New Yawk voice, unleashed a name-dropping extravaganza. “I know everybody,” The Donald boasted, before claiming to be pals with Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter, Lindsay Lohan (?), Tom Brady, Bill Belichick, and others. He also used the occasion to summon his misogynistic side, deconstructing many of Hollywood’s most famous women based on their looks and behavior.
“Seth Meyers is highly overrated as a comedian,” Trump said. “I think we’ll lose him. Of the other two, I think I’d marry Obama. I think he’s a lot smarter than Bill Maher, and I do like intelligence. And he’s faithful...”