Here's one for you bible guys...
When a man sells his daughter as a slave, she will not be freed at the end of six years as the men are. If she does not please the man who bought her, he may allow her to be bought back again. But he is not allowed to sell her to foreigners, since he is the one who broke the contract with her. And if the slave girl's owner arranges for her to marry his son, he may no longer treat her as a slave girl, but he must treat her as his daughter. If he himself marries her and then takes another wife, he may not reduce her food or clothing or fail to sleep with her as his wife.
Exodus 21:7-11
I have a problem with this passage... It does not say what the best way to go about buying a slave girl is, just more about selling. Not very helpful there, god... Let's look up another...
"Go up, my warriors, against the land of Merathaim and against the people of Pekod. Yes, march against Babylon, the land of rebels, a land that I will judge! Pursue, kill, and completely destroy them, as I have commanded you," says the LORD Jeremiah 50:21-22
Pay no attention to that commandment about killing, right? Hmmmm... Let's see what else god helped out with...
From there Elisha went up to Bethel. While he was on his way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him. "Go up baldhead," they shouted, "go up baldhead!" The prophet turned and saw them, and he cursed them in the name of the Lord. Then two shebears came out of the woods and tore forty two of the children to pieces. 2 Kings 2:23-24
Sending two she - bears to tear people up... You know, I do believe that happened. Seems god likes that routine, with two she - bears; it certainly explains michelle bachman & sarah "bailin pailin" pretty nicely, doesn't it? Or were they not religious.
I wonder what else the book we're all supposed to be living by has to say about anything...
"God made bad people for the pleasure of punishing them." Proverbs 16:4
Phew... Good to know we're all created in the image of sadistic psychopath.
"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it."
Malachi 2:3
Alright god, just because someone did that to you one time....
"You cannot be Jesus's disciple unless you hate your mother, father, and family" Luke 14:26
I'm guessing this is the part where we see that maybe the jews weren't so chosen after all?
"Men are holy if they stay away from women" I Samuel 21:4-5
I guess the christians have it all wrong then. Straight marriage seems to be the problem.
Those are more entertaining than anything else, but it's the overlying themes of the bible that destroy the whole concept. Command humans to be celibate before marriage... while knocking up a virgin. Almighty and omnipresent... but needs 10% of your cash... Demand that humans embrace forgiveness as a concept... while sending people to endure eternal hellfire for not having heard of his "omnipresent" self.
I have always wondered how any thinking person can take the bible or its collection of silly gods all that seriously. If that makes me an athiest, I guess that's the way it is. Better to be that than believe myself to be at the mercy of something all powerful and with the temperment of a spoiled five year old.