protravelgear
Newbie
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2008
- Messages
- 4
- Reaction score
- 0
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror
alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in
France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a
recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
paralyzing the country's military capability.
But it's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. The
Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These
beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new
Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats
and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to
"Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to
"Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit
Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists
have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance."
The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning
level was during the great fire of 1666.
The Scots raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the
Bastards". They don't have any other levels. This is the reason
they have been used on the front line in the British army for the last 300
years.
Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all of their
allies, just in case.
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to
"Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective
Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to
"Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also
have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!".
Due to continuing defence cutbacks (the air force being a
squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy
boats in the Prime Minister's bath). New Zealand only has one more level of
escalation, which is "####, I hope Australia will come and rescue us".
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to
"She'll be alright, mate". Three more escalation levels remain,
"Crikey!', "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The
barbie is cancelled".
So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in
France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a
recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
paralyzing the country's military capability.
But it's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. The
Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These
beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new
Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats
and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to
"Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to
"Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit
Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists
have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance."
The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning
level was during the great fire of 1666.
The Scots raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the
Bastards". They don't have any other levels. This is the reason
they have been used on the front line in the British army for the last 300
years.
Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all of their
allies, just in case.
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to
"Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective
Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to
"Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also
have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!".
Due to continuing defence cutbacks (the air force being a
squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy
boats in the Prime Minister's bath). New Zealand only has one more level of
escalation, which is "####, I hope Australia will come and rescue us".
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to
"She'll be alright, mate". Three more escalation levels remain,
"Crikey!', "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The
barbie is cancelled".
So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
