Ok then, you want humour. Roy didn't tell that many jokes, so they are easy to remember for me and were all told late at night when I was trying to close the "peepers":
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.
He orders a drink and while he's drinking it,
the monkey jumps aound all over the place.
The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and
eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and
eats them, then jumps up on the pool table,
grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and
swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see
what your monkey just did?"
The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball
off my pool table, whole!", says the bartender. "Yeah,
that doesn't surprise me", replied the patron. "He eats everything
in sight, the little ba*tard. I'll pay for the cue ball and
stuff". He finishes his drink, pays his bill and leaves.
Two weeks later, he's in the bar again and he has his
monkey with him. He orders a drinkand the monkey starts
running around the bar again. While the man is drinking
his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar.
He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey
did now?", he asks.
Now what?", responds the patron. "Well he stuck a maraschino
cherry up his ass, then pullled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me", replied the patron. "He still eats everything
in sight, but ever since he ate the cue ball, he measures everything first!"
