thepoohbear said:
One of my friends who retird for US last year had a Dell computer which broke.I went over his house to fix it.I gave Dells support number a call to help me out. Skippy, as he was called helped me for 3 hrs.All the time thumbing through pages , sort of scripts of what if then do this. I asked where he was located and he said sri lanka.After that I have been a little leary about buying dell.
If passengers get burned by talking to skippys cousin at Usairways the will so be dialing another number.It sux that profit above anything else in our number 1 priority.It used to be that the passenger was number 1 and that made the profit.
:blink:
[post="277077"][/post]
Speaking of Dell, here is a spoof on their Tech Support center in India:
VIDEO:
http://www.illwillpress.com/tech.html
WARNING:: Sound and language!! Also slow download
B)
Script:
Neurotically Yours: Episode # 057: Tech-Support
Foamy: Yeah, Tech Support? I'm having a problem with my Smell-brand computer and need a bit of help here. This *ucker's acting up like a troubled child on crack.
Tech Support: Hello. What seems to be the trouble?
Foamy: Well, it seems in my tinkering I went into the DOS program and it changed a 1 to a 0. Now it won't even start up. What do I do oh Guru-of-Computer-Wisdom?
Tech Support: Have you tried with starting your computer?
Foamy: Yes. And it doesn't restart.
Tech Support: Is your computer plugged in? That is very much common mistake.
Foamy: Wha-What kind of *uckin stupid question is that? Yes. It's plugged in. Don't. Jerk me around. This *uckin operating system is as unstable as Charles Manson and I. NEED. HELP.
Tech Support: Is your monitor on? Another mistake.
Foamy: Dumbass. It doesn't. Start. Up.
Tech Support: What is your operating system, the system that you are operating?
Foamy: It's one of those Whine-dows operating systems, y'know?
Tech Support: Very good. Do you like the ice cream?
Foamy: Wha..what?
Tech Support: DO YOU LIKE ICE CREAM?!
Foamy: What the? HELP ME! STOP ASKING DUMB QUESTIONS AND TELL ME WHAT TO DO!......HELLO?......HELLO!?!
Tech Support: I will help, yes. Here is what you do: You hold down the following keys: W...F...the number 2..the spacebar..while typing out "Genisia is great" and typing on the escape key for 20 minutes.
Foamy: ...*flips them off*
Tech Support: So how's the weather there?
Foamy: Oh geez..here we go. Fine.
Tech Support: It is hot here. Like a cow on fire.
Foamy: Oh yeah? Where are you, Florida or California?
Tech Support: I'm in India.
Foamy: India? Wait..do you mean, like, Indiana?
Tech Support: No, India.
Foamy: Wait a second. You're in INDIA?
Tech Support: I just said that!
Foamy: What the *uck?! Why am I talking to someone in India about my computer that was made in Japan and bought in America?
Tech Support: The Smell computer company has moved their tech support headquarters to India because it be cheaper.
Foamy: Nice, great. Well, why the *uck am I paying for first-rate tech support from a 3rd-world country?
Tech Support: You American bastards are only paying me $20 a week.
Foamy: $20 a week? Damn. You're getting ripped off, dude. Tech support here gets that an hour.
Tech Support: My god, you're all bastards!
Foamy: Hey. We're discussing my computer here. Not your slave wages. Pay attention. FOCUS.
Tech Support: Oh, very sorry. How is your computer today?
Foamy: Broken, jackass. Broken. Wait- Can I ask you a question? Why if I just boot the computer up through the installer disk and have it rewrite the file I messed with?
Tech Support: Yes, I guess you could do that.
Foamy: Oh yeah, great. You've been a big *ucking help.
Tech Support: Thank you for using Smell Computer Tech Support. Please tell your friends.
Foamy: Damn foreign outsourcing.
Foamy: Keep the jobs in the U.S. so I can understand who I'm talking to. You *ucking bastards.
Copyright: Jonathan Ian Mathers: 2004.
http://www.illwillpress.com