USA320Pilot said:
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Regards,
USA320Pilot
[post="241353"][/post]
OMG, I just opened my email and read one version. Then I opened another email from someone else and here is what I read:
A Message from the CEO
Dear Customer:
FF#:
There has been a lot of bad press about us, and frankly it’s pretty much all-true. But we have made some significant accomplishments in screwing over our employees. As a valued customer we would like to listen to you. But we haven’t reached that point yet and have never hired VP's to figure that one out. So I’ll take a moment to update you on how well we have screwed our employees into signing contracts where their “backs were against the wallâ€. But we just can’t thank you enough for spending 3 days trying to figure out and find our hidden $49.00 ticket. You are definitely the all time winner of the Airline-trailer Award. Anyone that would spend 6 extra nights in a hotel to save $20.00 on an airline ticket deserves this award. We are so proud; we have convinced government agencies to defer our payments because we now sell $49 cheap-olas from 1 specific city to another specific city (READ THE FINE PRINT). We can go one step further, we have a judge and a consumer affairs department that will give you anything, isn’t that a kick in the shorts and enough to convince you that we know what we are doing? The judge is our friend and we pay him well, (thanks to our employee’s cutbacks) we have the money to do that. As long as we keep firing and laying off American citizen’s and outsourcing their jobs to people in foreign countries we’ll be able to keep paying those ridiculous fees for advertising bogus fares in the nations newspapers. And as long as customers are given carte blanc on complaints without evidence, they will be compensated in full.
What this means for customers like you is that it proves that you have no pride and will wait on hold for ½ hour to save $5.00. The only ones that support the survival of this company are the CEO’s, VP’s..Etc. because they are really too busy this week with manicures and masseuses to fill out job applications to other companies right now. One of the best ways to prove to you what a great CEO I am, I have instituted several new popular routes for our customers. From our hub cities in the US, you can now fly non-stop to Kosovo; Bangladesh; Bagdahd; Panama, and our sunny vacation destination: Ensenada. You can count on us. After you’ve counted on us to deliver you, we’ll eventually get your bags to you within: 1 day; 2 days; 3 days; 4; we won’t disappoint you, we’ll make sure your bags don’t arrive until you have spent 4 days at your destination. But you have to sign a release waiving liability for trying to ship your whole household goods into a check-in bag.
You can call our 800 number as much as you’d like, we are proud of our two operators manning the U.S. phones, (they might be on break or lunch (damned those unions, we’re trying to get rid of these two too) which might mean a longer holding time. And just for sport, we’re going to let you think you can use your frequent flyer mileage points to get you to someplace you think you really want to go. But seating is limited and we may only be able to get you ½ the way across the ocean.
We’ve screwed our employees so well that they just might have an attitude, please hang-up on them until you get one of our new outsourced agents in a foreign country. Please don’t ask the new employee if they are for the Pats or the Eagles, they won’t have a clue. As a thank you for continuing to support us, we are pleased to let you spend hours figuring out how to register for our bonus miles give-away. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Airlines R US CEO