American Airlines Changes Crew Eating Procedures....Management, understanding the impact of removing gallies on all MD-80 aircraft, has henceforth implemented the following procedures for crews desiring to eat on their 13 hour duty days, after 4 hours sleep on their layover (My, aren't you people the most complaining bunch!)
We will be distributing "feeding tubes" to all crew members. There will be a slight fee for these tubes, which will be conveniently deducted from your paltry paychecks. We will make available in the MOD office, liquid food packages, also at a nominal cost, for in-flight consumption. Of course, discretion must be displayed when "feeding yourself."
Discreet black back-packs which complement the uniform may be worn during your "meal."
We feel that this is the best solution for your in-flight meals, allowing you to continue serving your passengers whilst dining.
This has been determined the best course of action as we have now taken away any chance for privacy that you may have had in the past.
Manual revisions will be distributed shortly with the above changes in policy.
BON APPETIT!
