FROM: THE DEPARTMENT OF WHAT ELSE CAN WE DO TO P*SS OFF OUR CUSTOMERS?

[Chicken or Beef??]

To extend that European feel we have decided to remove all toilets. This will leave a hole in the floor much like you would experience in many of our key destinations in Europe.
Further, a plate will be left on a table outside the lavatory for spare change. Note the bathroom attendant's (read:Flight Attendant) nasty face when you leave the W.C. without tipping.

 

[Chicken or Beef??]

As part of our ala carte pricing we should charge for each CALL BELL pressed. This is much like we pay to use 411 on our telephones. How does $2 per call bell sound?

 

[sharktooth]

As part of our ala carte pricing we should charge for each CALL BELL pressed. This is much like we pay to use 411 on our telephones. How does $2 per call bell sound?

Scales at the gate and charge by the pound (stone).

Charge extra to not display the weight to fellow passengers, like caller ID hiding.

Include carry-ons and food/drinks in the weighting.

Have coin slot to open shade on window, stays open for x minutes, then slams shut.

Coin operated lavatory.

Here I sit, brokenhearted,
paid my dime and only (deleted by moderator)​

 

[N965VJ]

LCC stock certificates will also be available in the lav:

 

[US1YFARE]

LCC stock certificates will also be available in the lav:

I guess the next time I fly, I will bring my own Quilted Northern. I wouldn't let that junk touch my hiney. I could up worse than the time Debbie and I were on that long layover in MIA with the Argentinian soccer team.

 

[FlightChic]

I wonder if mgmt has seen this commercial. It may give them some ideas.

Ideas for Making Money

And this one is my favorites! It is becoming a reality. Wow!

Southwest Commercial Mocking US

The sad thing is, I remember right after 9/11 some of my friends who were f/as for United (when they had a based in PHL) and I were hanging out and we all filled out an application to work for Southwest since they were hiring and we were going to be furloughed. Then we were laughing AT them saying how they are so cheap that f/as have to clean airplanes, they don't have 800 numbers (that probably isn't true but doesn't matter), they don't fly transatlantic (this is back when I was a transatlantic snob and we had premium service that we were proud of), the uniforms are fugly, the pay was much less (I was even making more than my United friends and they had been there longer), etc...Then when we received space positive tickets to BWI for an interview, we laughed even more. The ironic thing is, deep down we knew they were doing something right since every airline was about to go under and they were hiring. Once again, with fuel at an all time high, most airlines are in crisis mode. Guess who once again has the last laugh?

 

[FlightChic]

A couple of ideas I just thought of:

Oh, another idea is to charge ALL passengers who want a window or aisle seat an extra $15.

On flights that aren't full, for those passengers who refuse to move from the last row, they MUST pay the f/as $50 for their "premium" seat.

 

[nycbusdriver]

The sad thing is, I remember right after 9/11 some of my friends who were f/as for United (when they had a based in PHL) and I were hanging out and we all filled out an application to work for Southwest since they were hiring and we were going to be furloughed. Then we were laughing AT them saying how they are so cheap that f/as have to clean airplanes, they don't have 800 numbers (that probably isn't true but doesn't matter), they don't fly transatlantic (this is back when I was a transatlantic snob and we had premium service that we were proud of), the uniforms are fugly, the pay was much less (I was even making more than my United friends and they had been there longer), etc...Then when we received space positive tickets to BWI for an interview, we laughed even more. The ironic thing is, deep down we knew they were doing something right since every airline was about to go under and they were hiring. Once again, with fuel at an all time high, most airlines are in crisis mode. Guess who once again has the last laugh?

I was going to ask if you made the right move and went to SWA in 2001. Then I read the next post you made and realized you are still here with us in this mess.

Oh, well.

 

[robbedagain]

charge the pax for a late arrival at the gate!!!

 

[FlightChic]

I was going to ask if you made the right move and went to SWA in 2001. Then I read the next post you made and realized you are still here with us in this mess.

Oh, well.

Yeah, I'm still here but not for long. Let's just leave it at that. 😉

 

[Chicken or Beef??]

Special Meals (on transatlantic) $20

Wheelchair $5
Failure to use an ordered wheelchair $20

Flight Attendant assistance with carry on bags $10

Seatbelt extemsion- price of additional seat
Barfbag $5
Picking up said barfbag $5

Excess cleaning fee.... $10
(you know, when children smash their CHEX into the carpet)
Hmmm....

Using the seat pocket for a trash recepticle $10

The list goes on and on.....

 

[Travels2mch]

Excess cleaning fee.... $10
Hmmm....

You know if they would clean those flying trashcans once in a while, it would almost be worth paying this fee!!

 

[nycbusdriver]

charge the pax for a late arrival at the gate!!!

In keeping with that spirit, charge PHL international arriving passengers a bus fare when they get parked on the hard stand and bussed to the terminal on the "people movers."

 

[UPNAWAY]

If we really want to hit a revenue stream we need to charge for all thi 'itchin and moaning. We can equally charge employees and cusotmers this could raise billions!

 

[Ramp Rogue]

We should stop connecting bags for travelers transferring to other airlines. That way we don't have to pay the contracct service that does it for us anymore. We can charge the transferring passengers for the excess bags and overweight bags when they get to our ticket counter to check in. We save money and make money all at the same time. That is a win win situation for us.

Rogue