FROM: THE DEPARTMENT OF WHAT ELSE CAN WE DO TO P*SS OFF OUR CUSTOMERS?

[jimcfs]

But slot machines are so heavy, and all those quarters.........

(I'm sorry, quarter slots are too rich for this clientele. Pennies are heavy also.)

How long has it been since you've been in a casino? Everything now is coinless. Bills are the preferred means of loading the machine, and the payouts are on a ticket. Hey, US could give out vouchers for future flights as payment. :blink:

 

[signals]

Too bad we are sooooo healthy minded these days. Unhealthy living can be profitable and will cause less stress, and an unlimited revenue!

Allow smoking on Smokers ONLY flights. Don't tell me it won't work, because you could only imagine how many passengers are sneaking a smoke, especially in the bathrooms. When a plane unloads its precious cargo before baggage, comes the closest smoking area. They have people FULL TIME sweeping butts under the No Smoking signs in front of terminals!

Who cares if the plane is delayed for 29 hours on a tarmac? You could sell one cigarette(known as a loosie) for $5 and everybody is happy in the long run! Light up and smoke away would even be worth being penalized by our PORK government for allowing smoking. Cigars, cigarettes, Tiparillos! Stress will be down and pleasure will be up so much that people will pay an extra $500 with a smile on their faces.

I don't smoke but am sick of hearing smokers b!t*h about their rights, so let them keep their 'rights' and charge them for it. Everyone wins! Oh and what about the non-smokers? They'll fly the other airlines. So you lose customers :rant: who head to other airlines. But you gain the smokers from the others that outnumber the non-smokers. Fumbles can easily make the passenger a happy camper, if you offer a complimentary carton of cigarettes for each lost luggage!

Sure, it's a dumb idea...but have you actually read the others?

 

[KCFlyer]

Hahaha lets charge them for seat cushions

This is going too far. Now, if the fee is for seat cushions that FLOAT.....

 

[ELP_WN_Psgr]

Charge for cabin pressurization.

If they don't pay, a cabin altitude of 30,000' will pretty much ensure that FAs don't have to work too hard.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be cruising at an altitude of 33,000' enroute to Phoenix today. Most passengers find comfort and survival both are enhanced by paying $25 to maintain the cabin at an altitude of less than 8,000'"

 

[N965VJ]

<SNIP> Then at the end of the flight, the crew could split up the "take" and have some fun at the '747 Club' on their layovers up in BUF, or something.

Never heard of that one. Is it a classy joint like the Landing Strip in YYZ?

 

[CubsFanJohn]

Checking In with a person $5.00
Using the Bathroom .25 cents
Reading the Inflight Magazine $3.25
Pillow $3.75
Blankets $5.00
Reclining Seat $1.00

 

[dexter]

No lap children. Every lap child pays for a seat and for the 1-2-3-4 extra baggage charge for stroller, car seat, carrier and diaper bag. The baggage alone would be 100.00 plus the seat for applicable fare.

Also wheelchairs should be checked and charged. US provides free wheelchair service in all airports.

 

[SolidCactus]

Allow smoking on Smokers ONLY flights. Don't tell me it won't work, because you could only imagine how many passengers are sneaking a smoke, especially in the bathrooms. When a plane unloads its precious cargo before baggage, comes the closest smoking area. They have people FULL TIME sweeping butts under the No Smoking signs in front of terminals!

No, this isn't a stupid idea at all. I often travel with smokers (and I smoked myself for 12 years, before I became one of those "reformed smokers"). A smoker would pay ANYTHING to be able to smoke on the plane.

I get so annoyed when I have to travel with smokers, especially transcon. You're not off the plane 2 minutes and they are running to get outside like they have only a few minutes to live. I especially love travelling to CA with them, since CA makes is extra inconvenient for smokers 🙂

 

[sharktooth]

So you think it's OK to stifle individual dissent for the good of the corporation????

Tempe just doesn't get it!

It is not the bitching and complaining that besmirches their reputation, but the attempted coverups that drive the nails in their coffin.

 

[US Oringinal]

Tempe just doesn't get it!

It is not the bitching and complaining that besmirches their reputation, but the attempted coverups that drive the nails in their coffin.

Well said Piney!!

You hit the coffin nail on the head!!!

Their track record on good, sound, effective decision-making doesn't help their reps any either!!

 

[SolidCactus]

i have an idea for tempe... remove all overhead bins. if you cant put it under the seat, it doesnt come on the aircraft. 🙂 that would make me really happy.

 

[SS255]

I disagree, SolidCactus. The overhead bins are potential revenue generators. They need to lock them, and you can rent a token for $15 in order to store your stuff in the overheads. They should be motion sensitive, and automatically closed after one bag is stowed, to prevent freeloaders from stowing their bags in space which they did not pay to rent!

 

[ITRADE]

You're just scratching the surface.

Want to use your seatbelt? Drop in a fiver every time you want the seatbelt to go "click".

Need to use the lav? That wil be $2.00. Need tee pee. Another dollar. Want to use soap after you go #2? Another dollar.

Seat recline. $3.00

Open your window shade. $1.00

Over head reading light. $0.25

Flight attendant call button $5.00

Pillow $3.00

Blanket $5.00

Vomit bag $7.50

Head rest adjust $1.00

Over head bag latch open $3.00

Overhead bag stowage $10.00; if touched or handled by member of flight crew $20.00

Under seat stowage $5.00

In-flight magazine $3.00

Seat tray table $1.00

Use of emergency oxygen mask during emergency $10.00 payable only in cash and oxygen not activated until cash tendered

Use of live vest $20.00 and rules for oxygen mask apply

Use of seat floation cushion $35.00 and rules for oxygen mask apply

 

[SolidCactus]

Tempe, if you read this - I have a few serious revenue generating ideas...

At the gate, if any first class seats are not sold, allow for them to be upsold, but at a distance based price. This way you can generate revenue for them even on short flights. For example...

1 hour flight = $10
2 hour flight = $20

etc.

bring back extra salty pretzels and give them out for free. now that there is a charge for soda, people wont be able to say NO to the pretzels, they'll eat them, and then have to buy a soda... muhahaha.

 

[mga707]

Tempe, if you read this - I have a few serious revenue generating ideas...

At the gate, if any first class seats are not sold, allow for them to be upsold, but at a distance based price. This way you can generate revenue for them even on short flights. For example...

1 hour flight = $10
2 hour flight = $20

etc.

Reno Air deja vu!
Good idea, I agree.