FROM: THE DEPARTMENT OF WHAT ELSE CAN WE DO TO P*SS OFF OUR CUSTOMERS?

[SolidCactus]

well I just flew UA last week, and I have to say, their kiosks did a pretty good job on me upselling economy plus. Very cool process. I didn't think twice for a second. $49, good deal for more legroom. I tried to buy first, but it was full.

i'd love to see business class come back. i would reconfigure coach to be absolutely rediculous. i would take away all seat pitch and put the seats so close together that it was positively horrible for the customers, even closer together than the US 737-300 configuration.

Then make a business class with better seats, and moderate legroom. This is where the elite customers would get upgraded to, and I would put 4 first class seats in, but offer full lay back seating, and charge a price that is not insane, but offer incredible service - with the goal being to actually SELL these seats.

I mean, all US airlines except Virgin America have crudy first class really. Virgin America's first class is worth every penny. I buy FC on Continental, Delta and Northwest. US FC is really not worth the price. In all fairness, CO, DL and NW are only boarderline worth it... But US has devalued FC too far to make it worth paying for.

basically go back to 1980... lets reregulate the airlines and be done with all this nonsense...

 

[robbedagain]

if we were to reregulate the airlines wouldnt that be almoost disasterious?? Attention folks in order to use the shuttle bus from Terminal B or C to Terminal E you must pay $25 bucks for fuel surcharges!!!

 

[EastUS]

If we really want to hit a revenue stream we need to charge for all thi 'itchin and moaning. We can equally charge employees and cusotmers this could raise billions!

Charge employees and (of course, naturally, why not) customers for that? I've a MUCH better idea = Why don't "we" charge such as yourself for Koolaide by the shot?..at the rate of fine cognac? 🙄 ...Rather than continuing to provide your entirely unproductive ilk entire swimming pools of it to frolic and wallow in for free? I don't know who "you" are..and I've had precious little luck in figuring out what it is you supposedly, actually even "DO," that's at ALL worthwhile..except troll these boards..as if that counts. If you work for "the company" people talk of here..one might imagine that your compensation package costs could best be used in actually moving passengers about..or at least..enhancing the efficiency of said process...even if simply converted into fuel.

 

[EastUS]

So you think it's OK to stifle individual dissent for the good of the corporation????

Gasp!..I'm stunned that you should even ask such an obviously rhetorical question Piney!!

 

[EastUS]

Well I'm thinking of changing my screen name to "Master of the Obvious"

"Master of the Obvious"?? Far too subtle for me sir 😉 Seriously Piney?..Thanks again for all the time/effort/etc you put into the issues, by way of trying/working to make things better for all.

I'm very sorry that things have developed as they have..and hope to yet see you fly the airline again in some better future.

 

[FlightChic]

How about this: Charge passengers $25 for every carry-on brought on board.

 

[InternationalShannon]

How about this: Charge passengers $25 for every carry-on brought on board.

Hahaha lets charge them for seat cushions

 

[FlightChic]

Hahaha lets charge them for seat cushions

LOL! Payable to the flight attendants as they board the airplane! Hey, we've got to make a living somehow! 😉

And if you wet your pants, vomit, spill a drink on it, crap all over yourself, or do anything else to dirty up the seat cushion and force us to call and have it replaced on the ground, then we will charge you $50 for the inconvenience.

 

[US1YFARE]

I say eliminate all of the Nickle-Dime Fees at boarding.

Then charge them double to LEAVE the A/C

No more callers!!! We have a winner. After a US flight, they will gladly pay to get off that fifthy and cramped ghettoed out plane.

 

[philly rocks]

Still favor the idea of passengers paying for first and second bags with "coins".

 

[Real tired]

How about this one?

You know when captain Koolaid refuses to start the APU on those hot, humid days in PHL?

Well, we could have the "A" Flight Attendant pass around that little Chinese made wicker snack basket to all the passengers. Those who wanted a little cool air, could throw in a buck or something. Then at the end of the flight, the crew could split up the "take" and have some fun at the '747 Club' on their layovers up in BUF, or something.

Morale would then skyrocket!

 

[nycbusdriver]

How about this one?

You know when captain Koolaid refuses to start the APU on those hot, humid days in PHL?

Start the APU? I didn't know you could stop them. Well....maybe somewhere way back in memory I remember a procedure for shutting down an APU....but that was ages ago.

 

[SolidCactus]

Could always replace first class with slot machines... Seems to be working well for most of the states...

 

[hp_fa]

But slot machines are so heavy, and all those quarters.........

(I'm sorry, quarter slots are too rich for this clientele. Pennies are heavy also.)

 

[robbedagain]

well, remove all seats, put the long standing bars in so people can hang on much like a subway system. then US will be called Subway Airlines Just think of all the cost savings that would generate! The first airline without seats!!!!!