Jesse Jackson Busted for Looting in London Riots
By Mark Donahue
LONDON – Because of his scandalous displays of civil disobedience during the riots, Reverend Jesse Jackson was arrested for looting yesterday by London police. He was taken to central booking and charged with theft, destruction of public property, aggravated assault and impersonating a clergyman. British Prime Minister David Cameron issued a statement condemning Reverend Jackson’s actions and former Prime Minister Tony Blair told reporters that he wasn’t surprised because he’d suspected Jackson of stealing before.
“When Reverend Jackson visits, one is apt to keep an eye on the silverware,” Blair told reporters. “We allowed him to attend several social functions when I was in office and his presence always coincided with the puzzling disappearance of light bulbs and lavatory soap. At the last reception he attended we assigned a security detail to keep an eye on him but he outsmarted them by slipping out a lavatory window with a shower curtain and several hand towels.”