Sometimes the real world sucks...
Sometimes life is hard. Today was one of the hardest days of my life. The photo below is of the most perfect animal to ever set foot on the face of this earth. She is my dog, Ziggy. She has liver cancer and is dying. But she is a pleaser. That picture was taken two days ago. In that picture she had not eaten anything in two days. She quit eating dry dog food two weeks ago. She kind of ate canned dog for about 2 days after that and gave it up. She's subsisted on hard boiled eggs for the next week. She is shutting down. She is dying. But she is a pleaser. She does not want me to know that she's in pain. And that makes the decision I have to make all that much harder.
But I came home for lunch today and she kind of let me see. She was kind of listless. I laid down beside her to talk, but as I spoke to her, I broke into tears. And she stood up to stop me....to please me. This dog has been my loyal friend for the past 11 years. Of the dogs that have been in my household, this one has always been MY dog. It's so hard because she has an amazing capacity to please. The vet is about a mile from my house. She loves walks. If she's up to it, we're going to walk that last mile together. And I'll let her go. But I'll never forget her.
When I got back to work today I had iTunes on my computer, playing a light jazz mix. A song came on from Lee Ritenour that was an instrumental mix of a Jackson 5 song. I dedicate it to my dog
I never can say goodbye, no, no, no, no, now
Never can say goodbye
Even though the pain and heartache
Seem to follow me wherever I go
Though I try and try to hide my feelings
They always seem to show
Then you try to say you're leaving
me And I always have to say no
Tell me why is it so
That I never can say goodbye, no, no, no, no, now
Never can say goodbye
Every time I think I've had enough
And start heading for the door
There's a very strange vibration
Piercing me right through the core
It says, turn around, you fool
You know you love her more and more
Tell me why is it so
Don't wanna let you go
I never can say goodbye girl
Ooh ooh baby (don't wanna let you go girl)
I never can say goodbye, no no no, no no no
Ooh, oh I never can say goodbye girl
Ooh ooh…
I love you forever Zigs...