My suggestion is:
Hold all future negotiations on a S80, out on the tarmac, with no APU. State that the meeting will start at 8:00 AM, but please be there 1 hr ahead of time (without pay) to "get ready".
The meeting finally starts at 11:00 AM (sorry...you didn't get paid for those 3 hrs because the door wasn't closed).
Now that the door is closed and the plane is completely full with both comapny and union officials (with some on the jumpseats).......the negotiations can begin....with 4 bottles of water, no snacks on board, smelly lavs that will eventually need emptying, but we can't do that as long as you're on the tarmac.
Oh yeah...and you might want to lower the shades to keep the a/c "cool".....and open the air vents. Oh wait. Forget that....there's no APU, remember? Some of you may have to use a flashlight as some of the overhead lights are out, but they've been placarded. And...some of the seat will not recline. They've also been placarded.
No smoking, please.
Should someone suffer from heat exhaustion....DO NOT USE DRY ICE (it will have melted by now, anyway). The water from the melted wet ice will work just fine.
Please do not place any excess trash in the lavs or galleys. Those are not FAA designated spots. Just take it home with you.
And....please make sure you're in complete pollyester uniform. You may bring in-flight (and I use that word loosely) shoes.
I only wish we could throw in a crying baby, someone that's had too much to drink, a family of 8 who all want to sit together, etc...
Oh yeah.....and remember to clean the plane before you leave.....without pay, of course.
The only ones who will have the advantage are the union officials from APA and APFA who have at some time or another experienced that living hell. If they have flown in the recent past, that is.
Maybe that will push negotiations along more quickly........