Hi everyone, it's me, the little gnome that doesn't work for the airline. I was minding my own business, working the fryer at Wendy's and I noticed that someone who had a uniform on like your fine company left this profound letter on the table. I'd like to pass it on, because if you know who wrote it, tell her to get over herself because I could only DREAM of working for a company like yours with such fantastic technology. I mean, she should quit already and you guys could try to get me in. I'm really good at typing and problem fixing. Also, my eyes are this enthralling shade of green and my hair smells like cinnamon. Let me know.
Here's the letter. Which I didnt write.
_____
Dearest Qik Enhancement Team,
I would like to thank you profusely for the most recent set of QIK Enhancements that were just rolled out. Let me tell you what, it was like Christmas in July when I logged onto my computer and realized that everything I knew and tolerated about our current system has just gotten even more exciting.
I was thrilled when I saw that you got rid of that Involuntary Reroute function. In my opinion, it was way too easy, and I was wondering , that since a genital wart was next on my wish list, when I would be getting that......it's amazing how much faster I am able to infuriate the passengers with this new enhancement!!
No one will admit it , but I know they feel so confident when I am checking in their reservation that somehow got dumped for uknown reasons and their ETKT is all jacked to hell and back and they have me to make it all better by attempting to perform the reissue, looking confused, doing the same set of keystrokes that have always worked before, and then asking my neighbor what in the bloody hell is going on.
The party really heats up when my neighbor shrugs and then tells me to go to CTRLF and then CTRL U CTRL C and finally CTRL K, and then we laugh and give an invisible high five because, that crazy system pulled another joke. We can speak in code now!!
I have a hard time not winning hearts when they get off the plane for the third time, the plane they just flew in on as a thru flight, and there's like four of them sitting in the same seat. I mean, they can't stop laughing ...."Oh, you guys got me AGAIN!!" and then we clank our water glasses as we swallow our newly upped valium and prozac cocktails together.
I'd also like to thank whoever thought it would be a good idea to have the gate readers be dysfunctional when it's nighttime. Who knew they needed light? It's awesome that we can create job security by needing an extra agent to hold their Iphone up over the little pricing gun thing so that we can ON the tickets. That's classy!
It's little gestures like these that remind us that you love your employees and passengers equally by b****slapping us both at the same time.
In case you were wondering, it's so FUBAR, it's funny at this point . Thanks for the laughs!!
Love forever,
Your favorite Gate Dragon
Here's the letter. Which I didnt write.
_____
Dearest Qik Enhancement Team,
I would like to thank you profusely for the most recent set of QIK Enhancements that were just rolled out. Let me tell you what, it was like Christmas in July when I logged onto my computer and realized that everything I knew and tolerated about our current system has just gotten even more exciting.
I was thrilled when I saw that you got rid of that Involuntary Reroute function. In my opinion, it was way too easy, and I was wondering , that since a genital wart was next on my wish list, when I would be getting that......it's amazing how much faster I am able to infuriate the passengers with this new enhancement!!
No one will admit it , but I know they feel so confident when I am checking in their reservation that somehow got dumped for uknown reasons and their ETKT is all jacked to hell and back and they have me to make it all better by attempting to perform the reissue, looking confused, doing the same set of keystrokes that have always worked before, and then asking my neighbor what in the bloody hell is going on.
The party really heats up when my neighbor shrugs and then tells me to go to CTRLF and then CTRL U CTRL C and finally CTRL K, and then we laugh and give an invisible high five because, that crazy system pulled another joke. We can speak in code now!!
I have a hard time not winning hearts when they get off the plane for the third time, the plane they just flew in on as a thru flight, and there's like four of them sitting in the same seat. I mean, they can't stop laughing ...."Oh, you guys got me AGAIN!!" and then we clank our water glasses as we swallow our newly upped valium and prozac cocktails together.
I'd also like to thank whoever thought it would be a good idea to have the gate readers be dysfunctional when it's nighttime. Who knew they needed light? It's awesome that we can create job security by needing an extra agent to hold their Iphone up over the little pricing gun thing so that we can ON the tickets. That's classy!
It's little gestures like these that remind us that you love your employees and passengers equally by b****slapping us both at the same time.
In case you were wondering, it's so FUBAR, it's funny at this point . Thanks for the laughs!!
Love forever,
Your favorite Gate Dragon
Just don't tell the Westie in 2F flirting with the FAM.
