Revenue Suggestions for American Airlines

[Veritas]

My Plan to Help the Airlines

After logging nearly 150 flights on every major domestic airline, and racking up almost 100,000 miles over and between dozens of states, I have a few suggestions for Gerard Arpey, chief executive of American Airlines.

• You could charge an extra $1.99 for the option of boarding the plane from the middle or back doors, rather than parading coach passengers through first class, only to be sneered at by people sipping Mimosas.
  
• When the plane is on the ground, the lights work, the brakes work, the TVs work – but not the air conditioning. The plane costs some $100 million and includes some of the most sophisticated technology known to man – surely the engineers at Boeing can devise a way to cool the plane at sea level. I'd shell out an extra $9.99 for that amenity alone.
  
• I'd happily throw in 99 cents for someone to explain to me what the refrain "1L 1R . . . 2L 2R" signals and why it has to be done via the PA.
  
• Passengers don't want to hear how we're going to be delayed "a bit" because the starboard engine is a "little broken," or told at 8 a.m. Saturday that the "pilots haven't shown up yet" from wherever they were Friday night. Or how there are "Fifty ways to leave your lover, but only 10 to get off this aircraft." I'll cough up another $4.99 if we keep the cabin communications professional, concise and mundane.
  
• I like kids, I swear. But I'd pay almost anything not to sit in close proximity to one who is misbehaving. I will fork over 15 cents for every year of age over 10 for each passenger sitting directly next to me, in front of me, and behind me. So if I'm in a window seat, and the three passengers closest to me are each 50 years old for a combined 150 years, that's an extra $18. And I'd tack on another $5 to have my row and the rows in front and behind me completely child-free. That's another $23 right there.
  
• C'mon. My BlackBerry is not going to bring the plane down. I don't know of a single documented case of a consumer electronic device interfering with a plane's avionics. If they did, al Qaeda would just fly around with iPods. Since we don't fear an iBomber, why not just let me use my BlackBerry as much as I want, whenever I want. (I do anyway.) This one would be free, because it would be offset by negating the need for the flight attendant to expend energy cruising the aisle before takeoff searching for perps, like a prison guard working the tiers of Sing Sing.
  
• No plane has ever glided down and landed softly on its belly somewhere in the Atlantic, with the passengers bobbing around in rafts or clinging to seat cushions until help arrives. We've all got the intricacies of the seat belt down pat. So let's better use that five minutes for safety instructions by holding a raffle to determine who gets to deplane first when we land. You can sell tickets at $2 a pop.

With oil topping $140 a barrel, we all need to do our part to help the struggling airlines. It's easy. I just single-handedly figured out a way to increase revenue by $42.96 a flight . . . without even checking a bag.

 

[BigBangTheory]

That was hilarious!!!

 

[Boomer]

The really sad thing is, that, prior to Carty needing to continue the WalMartization of airline travel: AA booked the highest yielding fares because we were on time, clean and professional.

After Carty gave into the small margin, high volume concept: many of the underlying conceptual structures created by his predecessors were viewed as cost structures and pared away.

Come full circle: the airline industry is headed back towards some form of re-regulation and AMR is without those competitive advantages that held during more thoughtful times.

 

[kirkpatrick]

surely the engineers at Boeing can devise a way to cool the plane at sea level.

Boeing has it down pat. It's Douglas who couldn't get it right.

keep the cabin communications professional, concise and mundane.

I agree.

I don't know of a single documented case of a consumer electronic device interfering with a plane's avionics.

Write to your congressman. We don't make the rules; we're just saddled with the responsibility to enforce them. You might understand the flight attendant's exuberance if you realized it's the individual, not the airline, who gets fined for lack of enforcement.

 

[jimntx]

Write to your congressman. We don't make the rules; we're just saddled with the responsibility to enforce them. You might understand the flight attendant's exuberance if you realized it's the individual, not the airline, who gets fined for lack of enforcement.

Can I have an AMEN from the choir? I just suggest that they take it up directly with FAA and FCC when they tell me that they are in the computer business and they KNOW it won't hurt anything.

I found it interesting that the author was so open about his defiance of FA instructions and Federal law.

 

[eolesen]

The author is also a senior advisor to Hillary Clinton, which explains to me his complete ignorance and disregard for the impact that federal policy has on a deregulated industry....


While you're at it, perhaps he can get my bank to drop the service fees on using an out of network ATM, which are now approaching $5 per transaction...

Or how 'bout getting Citibank & Amex to drop the new 3% service fees I pay on transactions in foreign currencies? I'm almost considering getting a card thru my employer just for use in Europe...

Then there's my personal favorite... "convenience fees" for using the internet to buy things instead of going to a retail store staffed by a human with salary & overhead...

 

[Veritas]

The author is also a senior advisor to Hillary Clinton, which explains to me his complete ignorance and disregard for the impact that federal policy has on a deregulated industry....

Chill out. These suggestions were all in jest. In case you did not get it, it was a humorous article.

 

[NewHampshire Black Bears]

The author is also a senior advisor to Hillary Clinton, which explains to me his complete ignorance and disregard for the impact that federal policy has on a deregulated industry....


While you're at it, perhaps he can get my bank to drop the service fees on using an out of network ATM, which are now approaching $5 per transaction...

Or how 'bout getting Citibank & Amex to drop the new 3% service fees I pay on transactions in foreign currencies? I'm almost considering getting a card thru my employer just for use in Europe...

Then there's my personal favorite... "convenience fees" for using the internet to buy things instead of going to a retail store staffed by a human with salary & overhead...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Oh Jesus...."E",

After 8 years of REPUGS..screwing up the friggin' country.........................Don't tell me, your voting for McCain ???

 

[777 fixer]

My favorite line is not from the article. It's from the comments section.

After reading Mr. Reines comments on a plan to help the airlines it is easy to see how Hillary lost the election.

LOL!!!!!

 

[boxer]

My favorite line is not from the article. It's from the comments section.

After reading Mr. Reines comments on a plan to help the airlines it is easy to see how Hillary lost the election.

LOL!!!!!

What election?

 

[eolesen]

After 8 years of REPUGS..screwing up the friggin' country.........................Don't tell me, your voting for McCain ???

I tend to vote for candidates who wore a uniform and actually understand what the impact of CIC decisions...

McCain is more akin to a Reagan Democrat, and about as far away from Bush as you can get without crossing party lines.


The airline industry can be profitable at $200 oil. It just won't happen with as many airlines as we have today, and fares are going to have to be raised to what business travelers have been paying all along.

 

[The Goose]

I tend to vote for candidates who wore a uniform and actually understand what the impact of CIC decisions...

McCain is more akin to a Reagan Democrat, and about as far away from Bush as you can get without crossing party lines.


The airline industry can be profitable at $200 oil. It just won't happen with as many airlines as we have today, and fares are going to have to be raised to what business travelers have been paying all along.

I'm not very pleased with McCain because once upon a time he had a mind of his own; somewhat rash, but normally at odds with his party. That was a good thing.

About 1 1/2 years ago, he fell into step with the rest of the Republicans, if only to get to where he is now; that turned me against him.

As much as I agree we need a 'people's' president for a while to undo Bush's damage, I don't believe Obama is the one, nor do I believe either major political party has that in mind for any reason other than a sales tactic.

I feel the urge to write in a vote for Batman coming on ...

 

[cybercat]

I feel the urge to write in a vote for Batman coming on ...

I nominate Jay Leno for President.

 

[Cosworth]

Or how 'bout getting Citibank & Amex to drop the new 3% service fees I pay on transactions in foreign currencies? I'm almost considering getting a card thru my employer just for use in Europe...

IIRC Capital One does not charge a fee for international purchases.

 

[Cosworth]

I tend to vote for candidates who wore a uniform and actually understand what the impact of CIC decisions...

McCain is more akin to a Reagan Democrat, and about as far away from Bush as you can get without crossing party lines.


The airline industry can be profitable at $200 oil. It just won't happen with as many airlines as we have today, and fares are going to have to be raised to what business travelers have been paying all along.

Sorry, but I am calling BS on that one until further explanation. Carter actually served sea duty where as Regan was making movies for the military (bad eye sight) You sound more like a Reagan fan than a Carter fan to me. Kerry actually got shot at in Viet Nam where as Bush II was guarding Indiana from the immanent VC invasion.

McCain used to be far away from Bush but ever since he decided he wanted to get elected he has moved in with W and they seem like bunk mates to me now. McCain served in the military. Good for him. How that qualifies him to run the nation is beyond me. By his own admission he has limited understanding of economics. I would prefer to have someone with a well rounded education, and open and inquisitive mind running the country.


Everyone else

As for the airlines making money. American and the rest of the US carriers need to start giving a crap about the customers. I was on an AA flight to Mexico a few weeks ago and some others of my party were on a Funjet Charter on an Aero Mexico plane. Guess who had the better flight? The Funjet flight had a clean plane, free meal and free wine/beer. The crew were professionally dressed and polite (I was told they actually smiled most of the time). I brought my own meal, the plane was filthy and the crew was ever so happy to be there. Fortunately I burned up my remaining miles on the flight so I am free to roam the country on someone else now.

I know, you work just hard enough to not get fired because you feel you don't get paid enough to work harder .... and believe me it shows. Cry me a river. Don't like your job, find a new one (did you know we are in a recession?). The economy is trashed and prices for everything are sky rocketing. Vacations will be a luxury so guess what gets cut. OH well.....