Bad Day At Work

LongRanger

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Mar 13, 2003
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Not sure where this originated but here goes....

Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.


Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent his sister. She sent it to 'Laughline,' who were sponsoring a 'worst job experience' contest. Needless to say she won.

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I'd share my dilemma with you to make you realize that it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It is a wetsuit. This time of the year, the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm, is this:

We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of junk sucks the water out of the sea and heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a damn good plan and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods the wetsuit with warm water. It is like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my bum started to itch. So of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few minutes my a$$ started to burn. I pulled the hose out of my back, but the damage was done. In agony, I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my bum wasn't as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my a$$. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he along with five other divers were laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream to rub on my bum as soon as I got to my chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't crap for two days because my you know what was swollen shut.

So next time you are having a bad day at work, think how much worse it could be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your a$$.
 
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Or a Donut Buddy(a chrome one with a silk cover on it to boot).