Let's keep her name at the top of the list. Her intentions were filled with pure malice, nothing more, nothing less. Remember that.
Somebody sent me this today---cracked me up !!!!
Dear Mrs. Atkins,
As I sit here in my holiday decorated crash pad huddle around our
space heater; I am now fully aware of my horrible actions. How did I
ever commute without your watchful eye. I apologize for the doctors
appointments, family members birthdays and errands that have
inconvenienced you from your commute to work. Your wisdom and by the
book work ethic have shamed me to no end. Thank you for letting know
my place in the big scheme of things. My mother is so grateful that we
have you to look out for us in the big city of Philly. If you would
pass on your home address and phone number we would love to send you a
Christmas gift ( not too PC) let me rephrase a non specific token of
our adore meant. Approaching a decade of service to this company; I
still have not earned the right to have a life. I am sure with your
leadership and insight you will be able guide me through the perils of
reserve. As the Christian celebration approaches we offer a non
denominational branch of good will to you. Please join us for a drink
to your health in the essington debriefing crew room. If you are in
need of a ride just give us a call and we would be more than happy to
obtain you from the airport or your crash pad. In closing I do have
one request to ask of you. My brother is returning from the war front
a couple of days before Christmas. Now I know this is a busy time for
you. Your commute and very important work in a Paris bakery as the
official taste tester for the president of France, but may I humbly
ask your permission to meet him when his plane touches down on
American soil. IF our plans overlap yours please let me know. Whats
another year apart among family. I will try my best to ask the leaders
of our nation to either postpone his return or if we can meet in
passing in FRA or CDG. I am sure that I can get a trip to either of
those places when you are unable or unwilling to work over the
holiday. By no means would I want your plans to be disrupted in anyway
shape or form. Mrs. Atkins I have taken so much of your time and I
apologize for the length of this letter. Thank you for your time and
consideration on my behalf.
Your faithful servant