InternationalShannon
Veteran
hahahahahah douchebag is probably my favorite insult these days.Douchebag?? Pot.. meet kettle
yeah, i knowoff topic...
What is A la Carte?
- Thread starter beachboy
- Start date
yeah, i knowoff topic...
YVINTERN
Veteran
And these same FAs will be screwing the company over by not charging for soda(s), Water, and Coffee...
Giving out free Minis...Pretzels that don't exist...
Yeahhh.....The company's smart...maybe Corporate Security would wisen up and raid the lockers at CLT/PHL like the AA$$holes at LGA
Travelpro72
Veteran
- Jan 30, 2005
- 4,964
- 455
We are the joke of the industry, late night television and among ourselves. Explaining what A la Carte is....I mean give me a G'damn break. That building houses the most moronic, idiotic bunch of monkeys I have EVER seen in my entire life. I also have NEVER, EVER worked for a company with such little regard for the employee OR the customer. We can debate everything under the sun and compare how bad things are here to other airlines but the point is clear that we are THE WORST. Until this company takes their employees seriously and respects us and what we do there will be NO PEACE! ! ! ! I'm fine with A la Carte BUT and I have said it before, "The cashless system should be in place BEFORE the program is implemented". It's a rush to do this that WILL make our jobs miserable. I don't give a $h!t HOW anyone wants to cut it. So I will take it upon myself to make sure that this beverage sale system goes as easy as I WANT IT TO. FIRE MY @$$! ! ! ! I'm so over the morons here. Sipping coffee....enjoy your day!
phllax
Veteran
Somebody please tell me the last time United charged for headsets? Looks like their research department came through on this one!
The following information is coming out in the new Inflight Manual.
Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir.
May I see your ticket?
Passenger: Sure.
Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5,
please!
Passenger: What for?
Attendant: For telling you where to sit.
Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.
Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a
seat locator fee of $5. It's the airline's new policy.
Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard.
I won't pay it.
Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight,
or not?
Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the
airline is going to hear about this.
Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your
carry-on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to
stow it in the overhead compartment for you?
Passenger: That would be swell, thanks.
Attendant: No problem. Up we go, and done!
That will be $10, please.
Passenger: What?
Attendant: The airline now charges a $10
carry-on assistance fee.
Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it.
Attendant: Actually, you're right, you can't stand.
You need to sit, and fasten your seat belt. We're
about to push back from the gate. But, first I need
that $10.
Passenger: No way!
Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I will be
forced to call the air marshal. And you really
don't want me to do that.
Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me?
Attendant: No, but there's a $50 air-marshal
hailing fee.
Passenger: Oh, all right, here, take the $10.
I can't believe this.
Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir.
Is there anything else I can do for you?
Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my
overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it?
Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir.
Just insert two quarters into the overhead coin
slot for the first five minutes.
Passenger: The airline is charging me for cabin air?
Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is
provided free of charge. It's the circulating air that
costs 50 cents.
Passenger: I don't have any quarters. Can you make
change for a dollar?
Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go!
Passenger: But you've given me only three
quarters for my dollar.
Attendant: Yes, there's a change making fee of 25 cents.
Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a
lousy quarter? What the heck can I do with this?
Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it later for the
lavatory.
Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir.
May I see your ticket?
Passenger: Sure.
Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5,
please!
Passenger: What for?
Attendant: For telling you where to sit.
Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.
Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a
seat locator fee of $5. It's the airline's new policy.
Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard.
I won't pay it.
Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight,
or not?
Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the
airline is going to hear about this.
Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your
carry-on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to
stow it in the overhead compartment for you?
Passenger: That would be swell, thanks.
Attendant: No problem. Up we go, and done!
That will be $10, please.
Passenger: What?
Attendant: The airline now charges a $10
carry-on assistance fee.
Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it.
Attendant: Actually, you're right, you can't stand.
You need to sit, and fasten your seat belt. We're
about to push back from the gate. But, first I need
that $10.
Passenger: No way!
Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I will be
forced to call the air marshal. And you really
don't want me to do that.
Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me?
Attendant: No, but there's a $50 air-marshal
hailing fee.
Passenger: Oh, all right, here, take the $10.
I can't believe this.
Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir.
Is there anything else I can do for you?
Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my
overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it?
Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir.
Just insert two quarters into the overhead coin
slot for the first five minutes.
Passenger: The airline is charging me for cabin air?
Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is
provided free of charge. It's the circulating air that
costs 50 cents.
Passenger: I don't have any quarters. Can you make
change for a dollar?
Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go!
Passenger: But you've given me only three
quarters for my dollar.
Attendant: Yes, there's a change making fee of 25 cents.
Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a
lousy quarter? What the heck can I do with this?
Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it later for the
lavatory.
DrBeth
Senior
YVINTERN
Veteran
Jesus Christ...SWA is having a laugh at US' expense indeed
That commercial has been running here on PHX TV for a few weeks
flybynite
Veteran
Jesus Christ...SWA is having a laugh at US' expense indeed
No, darlin'. They're shaking their head in pity.
roabilly
Veteran
We are the joke of the industry, late night television and among ourselves. Explaining what A la Carte is....I mean give me a G'damn break. That building houses the most moronic, idiotic bunch of monkeys I have EVER seen in my entire life. I also have NEVER, EVER worked for a company with such little regard for the employee OR the customer. We can debate everything under the sun and compare how bad things are here to other airlines but the point is clear that we are THE WORST. Until this company takes their employees seriously and respects us and what we do there will be NO PEACE! ! ! ! I'm fine with A la Carte BUT and I have said it before, "The cashless system should be in place BEFORE the program is implemented". It's a rush to do this that WILL make our jobs miserable. I don't give a $h!t HOW anyone wants to cut it. So I will take it upon myself to make sure that this beverage sale system goes as easy as I WANT IT TO. FIRE MY @$$! ! ! ! I'm so over the morons here. Sipping coffee....enjoy your day!
You GO GIRL….
Excellent rant…
This whole system is actually another concession!
You work harder…the Company makes more money! Look at this program as a peripheral scope addition… to ambiguous language in your contract.
If I were you guys… (Flight Attendants) I would demand contractual enhancements to
your next CBA… to compensate you for the additional responsibility, and work load increases that will surly be introduced by this system.
N965VJ
Veteran
LOL
I think I quit putting the real seal numbers on the paperwork in 1997.
Here's some of my favorite fake ones:
90210
8675309
362236
2816969
5150
OP
beachboy
Veteran
- Jul 7, 2006
- 1,484
- 48
- Thread Starter
- Thread starter
- #42
Trust me I don't anymore. After I worte it up a few times and got CRICKETS chirping as a response. I just make it look pretty. This poor recall was on my trip a month back and was having a meltdown over the seals and the count and missing cart #'s. (half the carts don't even have numbers). I thought her head was going to spin around like Linda Blair. Anywho, I just took over and said see this line? OK lets see 4445786 sounds nice and this line? 676654 sounds nice. Then I put no # on the cart idenety line. She thought I was insane but I just rolled my eyes. I love the gals that just put the color of the seal
RED GREEN WHITE! They can barely show chain of custody on where the a/c routing goes much less 1000 liqour carts flying all over. Spare me.
roabilly
Veteran
Trust me I don't anymore. After I worte it up a few times and got CRICKETS chirping as a response. I just make it look pretty. This poor recall was on my trip a month back and was having a meltdown over the seals and the count and missing cart #'s. (half the carts don't even have numbers). I thought her head was going to spin around like Linda Blair. Anywho, I just took over and said see this line? OK lets see 4445786 sounds nice and this line? 676654 sounds nice. Then I put no # on the cart idenety line. She thought I was insane but I just rolled my eyes. I love the gals that just put the color of the seal
They can barely show chain of custody on where the a/c routing goes much less 1000 liqour carts flying all over. Spare me.
You guys have been duped! There is NO program in place that actually matches seal numbers on your paperwork to the physical seals on the carts!
FlightChic
Veteran
- Feb 18, 2007
- 954
- 0
OMG people! Take a freakin chill pill! I guess I will be giving away a lot of free drinks then! I'm just saying a lot of people will catch on and take advantage when you know they are lying. Anytime I need to comp a drink I'll just say that the pax was a diabetic. I guess in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter to me anyway as long as they don't start taking away my pay. OK, anyway...don't pay my b!tchy comments any attention...I swear I'm going to have a nervous breakdown! Aarrgghhh!
Travels2mch
Veteran
So are the customers, employees, other airlines.........us is the laughing stock of the industry.Jesus Christ...SWA is having a laugh at US' expense indeed
